Nov. 21, 2010
COLUMBUS: If you’re one of those airline passengers fretting over the new security procedures, I suggest you call your doctor and request, as a precautionary measure, an "internal urological examination." After they look around in there a while for kidney stones, even if they come up empty handed, those TSA pat-downs won’t seem so intrusive.
Ireland announced they need a bailout. I’ve always had a soft spot for Ireland. And I figure if every American who can trace their roots back to Ireland would send them a check for maybe $50, why that would help get them out of a hole. Of course it was the bankers who caused the financial meltdown (does that sound familiar?) so you may be reluctant send your dough to a country whose big bankers are just as shrewd, conniving, and underhanded as ours.
The United States is in a hole far deeper than Ireland’s. President Obama appointed a Commission to look for ways to eliminate the deficit and last week the Chairmen, Mr. Boles and Sen. Simpson, gave a preliminary report. From the reaction in Washington, you would have thought the world was ending. Republicans whined about paying more gas taxes and cuts to defense. Democrats howled about eliminating tax deductions, lowering tax rates, and the prospect that a 5-year old might have to work an extra two years before collecting Social Security. This yammering was caused by some reasonable men and women who have come up with ways to reduce our overspending by half. Imagine the ruckus if they had proposed eliminating it all together.
When you are spending $3.6 Trillion and taking in $2.1 Trillion, you gotta do more than skip a meal once in a while to balance a budget. One of their suggestions is to eliminate 20,000 federal employees (out of 200,000). I think it can work if we find the 20,000 who are responsible for spending the excess $1.5 Trillion every year, and get rid of them along with their budgets. We might lose a few Senators and Congressmen in the process (and a couple of Cabinet Secretaries), but that’s just the price you have to pay for sanity.
This is Thanksgiving week. Besides being thankful for the farmers who provide the food for a bountiful feast, I’m glad to live in a country where a nut can write stuff like this and put it in a newspaper without fear of arrest or getting shot.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"This is Thanksgiving. It was started by the Pilgrims, who would give thanks every time they killed an Indian and took more of his land. As years went by and they had all his land, they changed it into a day to give thanks for the bountiful harvest, when the boll-weevil and the protective tariff didn't remove all cause for thanks." DT #417, Nov. 23, 1927.
"I have been in twenty countries and the only one where American tourists are welcomed wholeheartedly by everyone is in Ireland. They don't owe us and they don't hate us." DT #3, Aug. 1, 1927
"A Senator named (Millard) Tydings the other day introduced a bill where the government couldn't appropriate more money than was coming in. That is, if you didn't have any money you could not dole out any. Well the Senate like to mobbed him. They called the idea treason, sacrilegious, inhuman and taking the last vestige of power for a politician, that is, the right to appropriate money which you don't have." DT #2024, Jan. 29, 1933
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Showing posts with label Security Council. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Security Council. Show all posts
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Weekly Comments: Cloud over Wall Street is not from a volcano #600
April 25, 2010
COLUMBUS: While the ash cloud hangs over Europe, another cloud hangs over Wall Street. In Europe everyone knows the Iceland volcano is to blame, but in New York we’re not sure if the blame belongs to Goldman Sachs, the SEC, Congress or our own ignorance.
Rather than keeping an eye on Wall Street, the S-E-C was watching S-E-X tapes. Now, it’s hard to blame those men, given the option of spending eight hours a day looking at Bernie Madoff, Barnie Frank, Chris Dodd and Lloyd Blankfein. Washington is blaming the brokers and bankers, but really it was Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae propping up loans to people they knew could never pay it back.
Earth Day was April 22. For forty years, we’ve been spending one day a year caring for our land and water. The one-day celebration of our environment is a wonderful idea. But some of my farmer friends reminded me that they take care of the Earth every day of the year. So you tend your own little patch of ground, and be thankful that a farmer is taking care of a few hundred acres, or even thousands of acres, of farm and ranch land.
Farmers are mighty happy this spring. Weather has been good in the Corn Belt and Great Plains and planting is way ahead of schedule. Farmers would welcome a day or two of rain just so they can get some rest.
In Arizona the Governor signed a bill that says illegal immigrants are illegal in Arizona. Seems reasonable, but a lot of folks say the bill is illegal, and that illegal immigrants in Arizona are not illegal. I’m no lawyer, but even a high-paid shyster lawyer would have a tough time proving that illegal is legal. Maybe the half million illegal immigrants in Arizona should go back home where they would be legal. Or take their chances in New Mexico.
Concerning the problem with Wall Street and the big banks, it was mortgages that caused the housing bubble in the first place. If people bought a house to live in, and not to make twenty percent a year, they wouldn’t care so much what it’s worth. It’s home. Live in it thirty or forty years and you get your money’s worth even if it goes to zero.
The government should stop encouraging big mortgages, especially for us old folks. When you reach 60, or maybe even 55, cut off the tax deduction for mortgages. By the time you get within sight of retirement, you ought to pay off your debts and be ready to live off of interest instead of paying it.
(Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to duck before some of my old mortgage-afflicted friends shoot me.)
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"After Wall Street had been dead for a couple of years....(a government investigation) will find out exactly what everyone else already knows: the deceased died from overgorging while the gorging was gorgeous." DT #1783, April 11, 1932
"Did you read that Senate Wall Street investigation? ... Twenty-four thousand patriotic Americans was all betting against the country. And we used to arrest men for just saying something against it." DT #1793, April 22,1932
"You know it's too bad everybody was so busy getting in on it, that no one had time to investigate Wall Street before 1929, when the horse was being stolen." DT #1796, April 26, 1932
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: While the ash cloud hangs over Europe, another cloud hangs over Wall Street. In Europe everyone knows the Iceland volcano is to blame, but in New York we’re not sure if the blame belongs to Goldman Sachs, the SEC, Congress or our own ignorance.
Rather than keeping an eye on Wall Street, the S-E-C was watching S-E-X tapes. Now, it’s hard to blame those men, given the option of spending eight hours a day looking at Bernie Madoff, Barnie Frank, Chris Dodd and Lloyd Blankfein. Washington is blaming the brokers and bankers, but really it was Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae propping up loans to people they knew could never pay it back.
Earth Day was April 22. For forty years, we’ve been spending one day a year caring for our land and water. The one-day celebration of our environment is a wonderful idea. But some of my farmer friends reminded me that they take care of the Earth every day of the year. So you tend your own little patch of ground, and be thankful that a farmer is taking care of a few hundred acres, or even thousands of acres, of farm and ranch land.
Farmers are mighty happy this spring. Weather has been good in the Corn Belt and Great Plains and planting is way ahead of schedule. Farmers would welcome a day or two of rain just so they can get some rest.
In Arizona the Governor signed a bill that says illegal immigrants are illegal in Arizona. Seems reasonable, but a lot of folks say the bill is illegal, and that illegal immigrants in Arizona are not illegal. I’m no lawyer, but even a high-paid shyster lawyer would have a tough time proving that illegal is legal. Maybe the half million illegal immigrants in Arizona should go back home where they would be legal. Or take their chances in New Mexico.
Concerning the problem with Wall Street and the big banks, it was mortgages that caused the housing bubble in the first place. If people bought a house to live in, and not to make twenty percent a year, they wouldn’t care so much what it’s worth. It’s home. Live in it thirty or forty years and you get your money’s worth even if it goes to zero.
The government should stop encouraging big mortgages, especially for us old folks. When you reach 60, or maybe even 55, cut off the tax deduction for mortgages. By the time you get within sight of retirement, you ought to pay off your debts and be ready to live off of interest instead of paying it.
(Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to duck before some of my old mortgage-afflicted friends shoot me.)
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"After Wall Street had been dead for a couple of years....(a government investigation) will find out exactly what everyone else already knows: the deceased died from overgorging while the gorging was gorgeous." DT #1783, April 11, 1932
"Did you read that Senate Wall Street investigation? ... Twenty-four thousand patriotic Americans was all betting against the country. And we used to arrest men for just saying something against it." DT #1793, April 22,1932
"You know it's too bad everybody was so busy getting in on it, that no one had time to investigate Wall Street before 1929, when the horse was being stolen." DT #1796, April 26, 1932
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Weekly Comments: Peace talks are fine but keep your gun loaded #570
Sept. 27, 2009
COLUMBUS: This was quite a week for peace. At the United Nations, President Obama called to order the Security Council and they unanimously passed a motion to work toward a world without nuclear weapons. As soon as the vote was announced they all cheered, and every leader there slipped out and called home with the same message: Build more Nukes.
Next up was the speeches. Qaddafi of Libya and Chavez of Venezuela and the little fellow from Iran that we can’t pronounce all got their turn on stage. They took turns bashing America and the rest of the civilized world, and seeing who could tell the biggest lies. Where is Joe Wilson when you really need him?
Our President is back in Washington, working on changes in health care. He already promised to cut prices by eliminating waste and fraud. But he never defined exactly what fraud he would go after. Well, in a recent interview he gave a hint. After ACORN was embarrassed by videos where they promoted illegal activities, he was asked about the $50 million the government had paid to ACORN. He said that’s nothing to be concerned about because we have bigger problems to solve. So right there, he pretty much set the bar on fraud. If you want to cheat the government out of health care funds, keep it under $50 million and you’ll be home free.
Food prices are back in the news. Farmers are getting paid less than a year or two ago, but grocery stores and restaurants are charging more. Not much different than in 1925: “Steak on the plate went up, steak on the hoof went down.” Now, the Dept of Agriculture has a solution for you; get to know a farmer and buy direct. Not only do you cut out the middle man, you get acquainted with the folks that work to grow your food.
Speaking of farmers, one thing they are all praying for is a late frost. All across the country many crops got planted a week or two later than normal. They’re growing fine, but a delay in freezing weather would be greatly appreciated. Norman Borlaug, the great agricultural scientist who died recently, developed genetically-modified crops that helped keep a billion people from starvation. But I doubt he came up any that would keep growing after a hard freeze.
I just returned from Norfolk where I spoke at the Performing Arts Exchange. It’s mainly musical groups, singers, and dancers in kind of a gigantic tryout to get booked for live shows across the country. My angle to get hired was to promise not to sing, dance or play an instrument. Being over there so close to Washington, I told them for my act I just watch the government and report the facts. Don’t even have to exaggerate. There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“It's all right to go to these (Disarmament) Conferences. But it's always well to come home and reload your gun after each one is over.” WA #416, Dec. 14, 1930
Randall Reeder is Will Rogers Today
http://willrogerstoday.com willrogers@aol.com
614-477-0439
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: This was quite a week for peace. At the United Nations, President Obama called to order the Security Council and they unanimously passed a motion to work toward a world without nuclear weapons. As soon as the vote was announced they all cheered, and every leader there slipped out and called home with the same message: Build more Nukes.
Next up was the speeches. Qaddafi of Libya and Chavez of Venezuela and the little fellow from Iran that we can’t pronounce all got their turn on stage. They took turns bashing America and the rest of the civilized world, and seeing who could tell the biggest lies. Where is Joe Wilson when you really need him?
Our President is back in Washington, working on changes in health care. He already promised to cut prices by eliminating waste and fraud. But he never defined exactly what fraud he would go after. Well, in a recent interview he gave a hint. After ACORN was embarrassed by videos where they promoted illegal activities, he was asked about the $50 million the government had paid to ACORN. He said that’s nothing to be concerned about because we have bigger problems to solve. So right there, he pretty much set the bar on fraud. If you want to cheat the government out of health care funds, keep it under $50 million and you’ll be home free.
Food prices are back in the news. Farmers are getting paid less than a year or two ago, but grocery stores and restaurants are charging more. Not much different than in 1925: “Steak on the plate went up, steak on the hoof went down.” Now, the Dept of Agriculture has a solution for you; get to know a farmer and buy direct. Not only do you cut out the middle man, you get acquainted with the folks that work to grow your food.
Speaking of farmers, one thing they are all praying for is a late frost. All across the country many crops got planted a week or two later than normal. They’re growing fine, but a delay in freezing weather would be greatly appreciated. Norman Borlaug, the great agricultural scientist who died recently, developed genetically-modified crops that helped keep a billion people from starvation. But I doubt he came up any that would keep growing after a hard freeze.
I just returned from Norfolk where I spoke at the Performing Arts Exchange. It’s mainly musical groups, singers, and dancers in kind of a gigantic tryout to get booked for live shows across the country. My angle to get hired was to promise not to sing, dance or play an instrument. Being over there so close to Washington, I told them for my act I just watch the government and report the facts. Don’t even have to exaggerate. There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“It's all right to go to these (Disarmament) Conferences. But it's always well to come home and reload your gun after each one is over.” WA #416, Dec. 14, 1930
Randall Reeder is Will Rogers Today
http://willrogerstoday.com willrogers@aol.com
614-477-0439
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
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