Sept. 27, 2009
COLUMBUS: This was quite a week for peace. At the United Nations, President Obama called to order the Security Council and they unanimously passed a motion to work toward a world without nuclear weapons. As soon as the vote was announced they all cheered, and every leader there slipped out and called home with the same message: Build more Nukes.
Next up was the speeches. Qaddafi of Libya and Chavez of Venezuela and the little fellow from Iran that we can’t pronounce all got their turn on stage. They took turns bashing America and the rest of the civilized world, and seeing who could tell the biggest lies. Where is Joe Wilson when you really need him?
Our President is back in Washington, working on changes in health care. He already promised to cut prices by eliminating waste and fraud. But he never defined exactly what fraud he would go after. Well, in a recent interview he gave a hint. After ACORN was embarrassed by videos where they promoted illegal activities, he was asked about the $50 million the government had paid to ACORN. He said that’s nothing to be concerned about because we have bigger problems to solve. So right there, he pretty much set the bar on fraud. If you want to cheat the government out of health care funds, keep it under $50 million and you’ll be home free.
Food prices are back in the news. Farmers are getting paid less than a year or two ago, but grocery stores and restaurants are charging more. Not much different than in 1925: “Steak on the plate went up, steak on the hoof went down.” Now, the Dept of Agriculture has a solution for you; get to know a farmer and buy direct. Not only do you cut out the middle man, you get acquainted with the folks that work to grow your food.
Speaking of farmers, one thing they are all praying for is a late frost. All across the country many crops got planted a week or two later than normal. They’re growing fine, but a delay in freezing weather would be greatly appreciated. Norman Borlaug, the great agricultural scientist who died recently, developed genetically-modified crops that helped keep a billion people from starvation. But I doubt he came up any that would keep growing after a hard freeze.
I just returned from Norfolk where I spoke at the Performing Arts Exchange. It’s mainly musical groups, singers, and dancers in kind of a gigantic tryout to get booked for live shows across the country. My angle to get hired was to promise not to sing, dance or play an instrument. Being over there so close to Washington, I told them for my act I just watch the government and report the facts. Don’t even have to exaggerate. There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“It's all right to go to these (Disarmament) Conferences. But it's always well to come home and reload your gun after each one is over.” WA #416, Dec. 14, 1930
Randall Reeder is Will Rogers Today
http://willrogerstoday.com willrogers@aol.com
614-477-0439
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Showing posts with label Chavez. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chavez. Show all posts
Monday, October 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Weekly Comments: New Jersey suffers a blow, gains an island #561
July 26, 2009
COLUMBUS: New Jersey suffered another blow this week. The FBI rounded up about 50 mayors and legislators for corruption. The only surprise is that five rabbis got in on the graft.
New Jersey hasn’t been the same since Sam Goldwyn moved the movies to Hollywood, and Henry Ford loaded Edison’s Menlo Park on railroad cars and hauled it to Dearborn. Half of the state is fine farm ground, but the other half is mainly used to bury the bodies.
In a related story, Cesar Chavez of Venezuela announced that his personal oil company, Citgo, is donating an island to New Jersey. I bet most of you didn’t know Mr. Chavez owned any American soil, but he does. Pettys Island is situated in the Delaware River and sorta protects Philadelphia from New Jersey. Nobody lives there and if George Washington had known about it when he crossed the Delaware he could have used it as a rest stop. But George never saw it because it was dark.
Lately it got a lot of attention from Realtors, dreaming of selling lots. It seems many folks would like to live on the island, I suppose because they figure technically it’s not in either New Jersey or Pennsylvania.
Chavez wants to rip out the oil refinery and leave the island as a park and wildlife refuge. With this latest round of crime, what New Jersey needs it for is a prison. Think Alcatraz East. Cut an entrance door into those big oil storage tanks and shove a dozen crooked politicians in each one. If they run out of room, maybe Rockefeller will donate a few tanks from Standard Oil of New Jersey (that's Exxon, for you younger folks).
Sarah Palin turned Alaska over to the Lt. Governor today. She gave a speech, didn’t say much, but invited everyone to visit Alaska. I may take her up on it. Next August would be a good time to go. I want to take a plane up to Barrow, but not a small one.
President Obama is pushing Congress to come up with a health care plan this week. He won’t tell them what he wants, so they have to guess. Congress was hot on the idea of taxing anyone with health insurance worth over $40,000 a year till they realized they were included, and cooled off on that plan. Now, giving everyone equal health care is a good theory. We feed the poor, but not the same food they eat on Martha’s Vineyard. We want everyone to have shelter, but won’t give ‘em tile roofs and silk sheets. We want everyone to have an aspirin for a headache, but million dollar surgeries? Well, that’s pretty much what they’re arguing over.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“New Jersey broke a life long precedent last week. She made the front page without a murder.” WA #11, Feb. 25, 1923
“Theories are great, they sound great, but the minute you are asked to prove one in actual life, why the thing blows up.” DT #2205, Aug. 28, 1933
Randall Reeder is Will Rogers Today
http://willrogerstoday.com willrogers@aol.com
614-477-0439
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: New Jersey suffered another blow this week. The FBI rounded up about 50 mayors and legislators for corruption. The only surprise is that five rabbis got in on the graft.
New Jersey hasn’t been the same since Sam Goldwyn moved the movies to Hollywood, and Henry Ford loaded Edison’s Menlo Park on railroad cars and hauled it to Dearborn. Half of the state is fine farm ground, but the other half is mainly used to bury the bodies.
In a related story, Cesar Chavez of Venezuela announced that his personal oil company, Citgo, is donating an island to New Jersey. I bet most of you didn’t know Mr. Chavez owned any American soil, but he does. Pettys Island is situated in the Delaware River and sorta protects Philadelphia from New Jersey. Nobody lives there and if George Washington had known about it when he crossed the Delaware he could have used it as a rest stop. But George never saw it because it was dark.
Lately it got a lot of attention from Realtors, dreaming of selling lots. It seems many folks would like to live on the island, I suppose because they figure technically it’s not in either New Jersey or Pennsylvania.
Chavez wants to rip out the oil refinery and leave the island as a park and wildlife refuge. With this latest round of crime, what New Jersey needs it for is a prison. Think Alcatraz East. Cut an entrance door into those big oil storage tanks and shove a dozen crooked politicians in each one. If they run out of room, maybe Rockefeller will donate a few tanks from Standard Oil of New Jersey (that's Exxon, for you younger folks).
Sarah Palin turned Alaska over to the Lt. Governor today. She gave a speech, didn’t say much, but invited everyone to visit Alaska. I may take her up on it. Next August would be a good time to go. I want to take a plane up to Barrow, but not a small one.
President Obama is pushing Congress to come up with a health care plan this week. He won’t tell them what he wants, so they have to guess. Congress was hot on the idea of taxing anyone with health insurance worth over $40,000 a year till they realized they were included, and cooled off on that plan. Now, giving everyone equal health care is a good theory. We feed the poor, but not the same food they eat on Martha’s Vineyard. We want everyone to have shelter, but won’t give ‘em tile roofs and silk sheets. We want everyone to have an aspirin for a headache, but million dollar surgeries? Well, that’s pretty much what they’re arguing over.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“New Jersey broke a life long precedent last week. She made the front page without a murder.” WA #11, Feb. 25, 1923
“Theories are great, they sound great, but the minute you are asked to prove one in actual life, why the thing blows up.” DT #2205, Aug. 28, 1933
Randall Reeder is Will Rogers Today
http://willrogerstoday.com willrogers@aol.com
614-477-0439
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
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