Oct 17, 2010
COLUMBUS: The federal deficit is $1.3 Trillion this year. The President says the economy is improving because last year it was $1.4 Trillion.
President Obama was back in Columbus today. He’s been in Ohio a dozen times lately, rounding up votes. He’s telling Democrats, "Even if you don’t have a job, vote for the Democrat anyway. No use for both of you to be unemployed."
Speaker Pelosi’s comment about "more bang for the buck" is getting attention. You would be surprised the number of Democrat candidates who are carrying rifles in their TV ads. In West Virginia, Joe Manchin is not only carrying, but firing. He shot a hole plumb through the Carbon Tax and Trade bill. A lot of Democrats in Congress are taking aim at Pelosi.
Every candidate has been asked exactly how they will cut the deficit. Nary a one has been honest enough to answer, for fear of losing a couple of votes.
Here’s what I suggest for a candidate to announce next week, "Let’s raise the Social Security retirement age to 70 or 72. There will be no inflation adjustment for next year because there was no inflation. Be patient because inflation will take off sooner or later, and we’ll scrape us a small increase for you. For those on Medicaid, you better find a way to live healthier because you’re gonna pay half. Same for Medicare except you pay a quarter, including for drugs. For unemployment, forget about 99 weeks of checks. With my plan, the first week you get 100 percent, and it declines every week until after 29 weeks it’s zero. Currently you wait till the checks stop, then find a job. From now on, you decide how low to let it go before you get off the couch. We’ll raise the income tax, but only on the half that aren’t paying any. It’ll only be 5 percent, and it will give these poor folks a stake in wanting government to spend wisely. We’ll eliminate all public employee unions. If you want to join a union, work for a private company.
We’ll phase out home mortgage deductions. It’s the tax advisors that convince people to keep a maximum mortgage until they’re 80; take out that loophole and they’ll pay off the house by 50 or so, and be glad of it."
For any candidate who will make that proposal I can guarantee one thing: on November 2 he’ll lose. But in 5 to 10 years, people will be telling him he was right.
The rescue of those 33 Chili miners was an inspiring engineering achievement. A determined President went out and got the brightest, most experienced drillers in the world and turned them loose. NASA helped design the recovery capsule. And the miners were brilliantly organized and disciplined.
The first big football poll came out tonight. Oklahoma and Oregon are on top, and that means only one thing. Next Saturday, look for them to get beat.
Historic quote from Will Rogers: (Note that 2010 is kinda opposite of 1930.)
"My advice is, keep the Republicans in power. Otherwise you will add to the unemployment for, if you throw a Republican out there is nothing else he can do, while a Democrat must be able to making a living out of office. Otherwise he would not be living." DT #1335, Nov. 3, 1930
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Weekly Comments: Politics getting smelly close to the election #624
10-10-10
COLUMBUS: The news got even worse for the Democrats this week. Unemployment is stuck at close to ten percent, and one out of every seven Americans are poverty stricken. And more of them than ever live in foreclosed homes in the suburbs.
Of course it was moving to the suburbs that caused a lot of these problems. When everyone lived in a big house in town, maybe with your in-laws and a bunch of kids, you could walk to work or school. I blame Henry Ford. When he started making the Model T Ford so cheap that just about anyone could afford one, why we moved out of town, built our own house and drove everywhere. Now you’re stuck with two cars and two mortgages. And when your two jobs disappeared, sharing a big house in town don’t seem so bad.
Speaker Pelosi announced that the best economic recovery plan is to hand out more food stamps and unemployment checks. She said that will give the "most bang for the buck." Well, I don’t know what economist she has been talking to, if any. I figure the loudest bang you’ll hear from these out-of-work men will be when they go into the woods aiming to shoot a buck. That can get you more meat than a month’s worth of food stamps.
We only have three weeks till the election. Can you survive that long? With some of these political ads on TV, you’ve got to not only cover your ears and close your eyes, but hold your nose, too. There seem to be more polecats running than usual.
Everybody knows there will be a bunch more Republicans elected to Congress. But the Democrats aren’t giving up without a fight. Why, there’s a few Democrat candidates cussing the President more than the Republicans are.
In West Virginia, the governor is running for Robert Byrd’s old Senate seat. He has come out against just about every one of the President’s policies, but still claims to be a Democrat. Most voters are telling him, "You stay as Governor and let us send someone else to clean up Washington."
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"We'll hold the distinction of being the only nation in the history of the world that ever went to the poor house in an automobile." Radio, Oct. 18, 1931
"There is something about a Republican that you can only stand for him just so long. And, on the other hand, there is something about a Democrat that you can't stand for him quite that long." DT #1955, Nov. 9, 1932
(After the dedication of the new Will Rogers Hotel in Claremore, Oklahoma) "I know now how proud Christopher Columbus must have felt when he heard they had named Columbus, Ohio, after him." DT #1111, Feb. 16, 1930
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: The news got even worse for the Democrats this week. Unemployment is stuck at close to ten percent, and one out of every seven Americans are poverty stricken. And more of them than ever live in foreclosed homes in the suburbs.
Of course it was moving to the suburbs that caused a lot of these problems. When everyone lived in a big house in town, maybe with your in-laws and a bunch of kids, you could walk to work or school. I blame Henry Ford. When he started making the Model T Ford so cheap that just about anyone could afford one, why we moved out of town, built our own house and drove everywhere. Now you’re stuck with two cars and two mortgages. And when your two jobs disappeared, sharing a big house in town don’t seem so bad.
Speaker Pelosi announced that the best economic recovery plan is to hand out more food stamps and unemployment checks. She said that will give the "most bang for the buck." Well, I don’t know what economist she has been talking to, if any. I figure the loudest bang you’ll hear from these out-of-work men will be when they go into the woods aiming to shoot a buck. That can get you more meat than a month’s worth of food stamps.
We only have three weeks till the election. Can you survive that long? With some of these political ads on TV, you’ve got to not only cover your ears and close your eyes, but hold your nose, too. There seem to be more polecats running than usual.
Everybody knows there will be a bunch more Republicans elected to Congress. But the Democrats aren’t giving up without a fight. Why, there’s a few Democrat candidates cussing the President more than the Republicans are.
In West Virginia, the governor is running for Robert Byrd’s old Senate seat. He has come out against just about every one of the President’s policies, but still claims to be a Democrat. Most voters are telling him, "You stay as Governor and let us send someone else to clean up Washington."
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"We'll hold the distinction of being the only nation in the history of the world that ever went to the poor house in an automobile." Radio, Oct. 18, 1931
"There is something about a Republican that you can only stand for him just so long. And, on the other hand, there is something about a Democrat that you can't stand for him quite that long." DT #1955, Nov. 9, 1932
(After the dedication of the new Will Rogers Hotel in Claremore, Oklahoma) "I know now how proud Christopher Columbus must have felt when he heard they had named Columbus, Ohio, after him." DT #1111, Feb. 16, 1930
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Weekly Comments: Congress prefers campaigning to voting #623
Oct. 3, 2010
COLUMBUS: McDonald’s may be dropping health insurance for their employees and that’s got Democrats in Congress concerned. After November, that’s where some of these folks may be working.
As for McDonald’s, the folks who should be concerned about health insurance are the ones eating there. But really, I’m not going to take potshots at any hamburger joint. I’ve raised (and eaten) enough beef in my time to know it won’t hurt you. If you want to stick to eating only vegetables, that’s fine with me. But I’ll take my chances with ham or steak or chicken breast meat along with potatoes, soup beans and onions. And cherry pie. Now that’s good eatin’.
Granted, eating a half dozen Big Macs every day might not leave you feeling chipper. But neither would five pounds a day of broccoli.
Rahm Emanuel is returning to Chicago to run for mayor. Politics in Washington was too mild for him. In Chicago he can cuss out the gangsters and a few stray Republicans.
Washington is deserted. With less than a month till the election, Congress decided it was more important to go home and tell the voters how they intend to vote instead of actually voting. If you want to know where your candidate stands on income tax rates, inheritance taxes, or immigration, just ask. But you can only vote for the person, not how he will vote. In the Lame Duck session, he might do just the opposite. In that two week session after the election, Speaker Pelosi says they will vote on twice as many bills as they have in the previous two years.
In California, the race for governor heated up. Not over how to fix a Fifty Billion Dollar deficit, but rather Meg Whitman’s maid who was fired more than a year ago. It seems Jerry Brown just learned the maid was a Mexican working here illegally, and made an example of her. On TV, Whitman said, "She told us she was legal, we treated her like part of the family, and paid her $23 an hour." The next day two million Californians called Whitman’s campaign office. Not to volunteer, not to complain, but rather to apply for the maid’s old job.
The government announced a warning for anyone traveling to Europe. Al Qaeda is threatening to blow up Europe like they did New York. Well, your odds of being wiped out by a terrorist are probably lower than being killed by a teenager texting while driving. Threat or no threat, here’s what I suggested in 1930: There ought to be a law against anybody going to Europe till they had seen the things we have in this country.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"I'll bet there is more fool things done for publicity's sake that defeat their own purpose than ever aided it." DT #1816, May 19, 1932
"Being serious or being a good fellow has got nothing to do with running this country. If the breaks are with you, you could be a laughing hyena and still have a great administration." DT #1315, Oct. 10, 1930
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: McDonald’s may be dropping health insurance for their employees and that’s got Democrats in Congress concerned. After November, that’s where some of these folks may be working.
As for McDonald’s, the folks who should be concerned about health insurance are the ones eating there. But really, I’m not going to take potshots at any hamburger joint. I’ve raised (and eaten) enough beef in my time to know it won’t hurt you. If you want to stick to eating only vegetables, that’s fine with me. But I’ll take my chances with ham or steak or chicken breast meat along with potatoes, soup beans and onions. And cherry pie. Now that’s good eatin’.
Granted, eating a half dozen Big Macs every day might not leave you feeling chipper. But neither would five pounds a day of broccoli.
Rahm Emanuel is returning to Chicago to run for mayor. Politics in Washington was too mild for him. In Chicago he can cuss out the gangsters and a few stray Republicans.
Washington is deserted. With less than a month till the election, Congress decided it was more important to go home and tell the voters how they intend to vote instead of actually voting. If you want to know where your candidate stands on income tax rates, inheritance taxes, or immigration, just ask. But you can only vote for the person, not how he will vote. In the Lame Duck session, he might do just the opposite. In that two week session after the election, Speaker Pelosi says they will vote on twice as many bills as they have in the previous two years.
In California, the race for governor heated up. Not over how to fix a Fifty Billion Dollar deficit, but rather Meg Whitman’s maid who was fired more than a year ago. It seems Jerry Brown just learned the maid was a Mexican working here illegally, and made an example of her. On TV, Whitman said, "She told us she was legal, we treated her like part of the family, and paid her $23 an hour." The next day two million Californians called Whitman’s campaign office. Not to volunteer, not to complain, but rather to apply for the maid’s old job.
The government announced a warning for anyone traveling to Europe. Al Qaeda is threatening to blow up Europe like they did New York. Well, your odds of being wiped out by a terrorist are probably lower than being killed by a teenager texting while driving. Threat or no threat, here’s what I suggested in 1930: There ought to be a law against anybody going to Europe till they had seen the things we have in this country.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"I'll bet there is more fool things done for publicity's sake that defeat their own purpose than ever aided it." DT #1816, May 19, 1932
"Being serious or being a good fellow has got nothing to do with running this country. If the breaks are with you, you could be a laughing hyena and still have a great administration." DT #1315, Oct. 10, 1930
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Weekly Comments: Election campaigns are same as 80 years ago #626
Oct 24, 2010
COLUMBUS: President Obama is crisscrossing the country campaigning for Democrats. Sarah Palin is doing the same for Republicans. Don’t know if it’ll help anybody, except maybe the opponents.
Most Democrats running for Congress swear that if elected, they will vote with the Republicans. And the Republicans vow they will never repeat the mistakes they made from 2002 to 2006. With the mishmash conglomeration that’s gonna get in there, Lord knows what shape we’ll be in by 2012.
As bad as the TV ads are, a surefire way for a candidate to get more votes would be to announce, "I’m stopping all campaigning. No more blistering ads, no long-winded speeches, no harassing phone calls. I’m gonna stay home for the next week, sit on the back porch and contemplate our future. Call me if you want to talk. Here’s my number ______."
Baseball decided they should start the World Series before Halloween. The Texas Rangers are in there for the first time, taking on the Giants of San Francisco. All the big baseball experts from east of the Mississippi were hoping for a few November night games in the balmy climates of New York or Philadelphia. They’ll find that these boys out West can play the game too, if they bother to watch.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers: (on election campaigns)
"Come pretty near having two holidays of equal importance in the same week, Halloween and Election, and of the two, election day provides us the most fun. On Halloween they put pumpkins on their heads, and on Election day they don't have to. Candidates have been telling you that if elected they would ‘pull you from this bog hole of financial misery.’ Now is a good chance to get even with ‘em by electing ‘em, just to prove what a liar they are." DT #1334, Nov. 2, 1930
"My idea of the height of conceit would be a political speaker that would go on the air when that World Series is on." DT #683, Oct 3, 1928
"There should be a moratorium called on candidates' speeches. From now on they are just talking themselves out of votes... You can do everybody a big favor by going fishing, then come back next Wednesday and we will let you know which one is the lesser of the two evils."DT #1948, Nov. 2, 1932
"All you will hear from now until the [election] will be: ‘We must get our government out of the hands of predatory wealth.’ ‘The good people of this great country are burdened to death with taxes." WA #86, Aug. 3, 1924
"The promising season ends next Tuesday, and at about 8 o'clock that same night the alibi season opens. Can you remember back when the promise was made on both sides that ‘The campaign will be run on a high plane’? This campaign ends Tuesday, but it will take two generations to sweep up the dirt." DT #706, Oct. 31, 1928
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: President Obama is crisscrossing the country campaigning for Democrats. Sarah Palin is doing the same for Republicans. Don’t know if it’ll help anybody, except maybe the opponents.
Most Democrats running for Congress swear that if elected, they will vote with the Republicans. And the Republicans vow they will never repeat the mistakes they made from 2002 to 2006. With the mishmash conglomeration that’s gonna get in there, Lord knows what shape we’ll be in by 2012.
As bad as the TV ads are, a surefire way for a candidate to get more votes would be to announce, "I’m stopping all campaigning. No more blistering ads, no long-winded speeches, no harassing phone calls. I’m gonna stay home for the next week, sit on the back porch and contemplate our future. Call me if you want to talk. Here’s my number ______."
Baseball decided they should start the World Series before Halloween. The Texas Rangers are in there for the first time, taking on the Giants of San Francisco. All the big baseball experts from east of the Mississippi were hoping for a few November night games in the balmy climates of New York or Philadelphia. They’ll find that these boys out West can play the game too, if they bother to watch.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers: (on election campaigns)
"Come pretty near having two holidays of equal importance in the same week, Halloween and Election, and of the two, election day provides us the most fun. On Halloween they put pumpkins on their heads, and on Election day they don't have to. Candidates have been telling you that if elected they would ‘pull you from this bog hole of financial misery.’ Now is a good chance to get even with ‘em by electing ‘em, just to prove what a liar they are." DT #1334, Nov. 2, 1930
"My idea of the height of conceit would be a political speaker that would go on the air when that World Series is on." DT #683, Oct 3, 1928
"There should be a moratorium called on candidates' speeches. From now on they are just talking themselves out of votes... You can do everybody a big favor by going fishing, then come back next Wednesday and we will let you know which one is the lesser of the two evils."DT #1948, Nov. 2, 1932
"All you will hear from now until the [election] will be: ‘We must get our government out of the hands of predatory wealth.’ ‘The good people of this great country are burdened to death with taxes." WA #86, Aug. 3, 1924
"The promising season ends next Tuesday, and at about 8 o'clock that same night the alibi season opens. Can you remember back when the promise was made on both sides that ‘The campaign will be run on a high plane’? This campaign ends Tuesday, but it will take two generations to sweep up the dirt." DT #706, Oct. 31, 1928
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Weekly Comments: Taxpayers waiting for relief, except in Arkansas #621
Sept. 19, 2010
COLUMBUS: Congress is back, so the comedy should be getting better. We had a long dry spell because most of them went home in August, locked their door, and didn’t come out till they were forced to return to the old Joke Factory. They would occasionally sneak a peek out the kitchen window, but when they saw what the Tea Party did to some of their friends, they jumped back in bed.
Before I get into the tax bill, did you see where Lady Gaga went to an awards show wearing a "dress" made entirely of meat? It was all beef, what there was of it. Not a speck of cereal. Just some cotton thread to hold it together. Ranchers and cattlemen appreciate her support, but if she ever offers you a slice of rump roast, refuse it.
Democrats and Republicans are arguing over the tax cuts that are expiring January 1. Republicans want to keep all income taxes where they are, but Democrats want to raise ‘em for anyone making over $250,000. Democrats figure that’s only 2 percent of the voters, but Republicans say, "Yes, but that 2 percent pays half the taxes, and their spending keeps the economy going." It all boils down to arithmetic, and who is doing the ciphering. To Democrats, votes is most important. To Republicans, it’s dollars.
I think the Democrats might go along with the Republicans if they adopt a controversial provision from the 1935 Townsend Plan. Dr. Townsend’s plan to give pensions to old folks was to pay them $200 a month, but (and here’s the requirement that killed it in the Senate) they have to spend it. No saving for a rainy day. Every month, spend every dollar.
Now, if these higher income folks, and maybe the rest of us, would agree that every month we’ll spend whatever the savings is between the Republican and Democrat plans, then it might get through Congress. That way, the money will be spent to stimulate the economy. The only difference is, the taxpayer decides where his money is spent instead of President Obama.
In Arkansas, Senator Lincoln didn’t wait for any tax savings plan; she reached into Treasury Secretary Geithner’s back pocket and plucked out some cash for her rice and cotton farmers. It’s a Disaster Aid package that zeros in on Arkansas. I figure if Sen. Lincoln hands out about $500,000,000, and she needs roughly 500,000 votes to win re-election, that comes to $1000 per vote.
That may seem absurd if you don’t live in Arkansas, but odds are your own Congressman or Senator has grabbed even more to spread among the voters.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes. They speak of it almost like a national calamity." DT #1435, Feb. 27, 1931
"The crime of taxation is not in the taking it, it's in the way that it's spent." DT #1764, March 20, 1932
"Our government is the only people that just loves to spend without being compelled to, at all. But the government is the only people that don't have to worry where it's coming from." Radio, April 21, 1935
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: Congress is back, so the comedy should be getting better. We had a long dry spell because most of them went home in August, locked their door, and didn’t come out till they were forced to return to the old Joke Factory. They would occasionally sneak a peek out the kitchen window, but when they saw what the Tea Party did to some of their friends, they jumped back in bed.
Before I get into the tax bill, did you see where Lady Gaga went to an awards show wearing a "dress" made entirely of meat? It was all beef, what there was of it. Not a speck of cereal. Just some cotton thread to hold it together. Ranchers and cattlemen appreciate her support, but if she ever offers you a slice of rump roast, refuse it.
Democrats and Republicans are arguing over the tax cuts that are expiring January 1. Republicans want to keep all income taxes where they are, but Democrats want to raise ‘em for anyone making over $250,000. Democrats figure that’s only 2 percent of the voters, but Republicans say, "Yes, but that 2 percent pays half the taxes, and their spending keeps the economy going." It all boils down to arithmetic, and who is doing the ciphering. To Democrats, votes is most important. To Republicans, it’s dollars.
I think the Democrats might go along with the Republicans if they adopt a controversial provision from the 1935 Townsend Plan. Dr. Townsend’s plan to give pensions to old folks was to pay them $200 a month, but (and here’s the requirement that killed it in the Senate) they have to spend it. No saving for a rainy day. Every month, spend every dollar.
Now, if these higher income folks, and maybe the rest of us, would agree that every month we’ll spend whatever the savings is between the Republican and Democrat plans, then it might get through Congress. That way, the money will be spent to stimulate the economy. The only difference is, the taxpayer decides where his money is spent instead of President Obama.
In Arkansas, Senator Lincoln didn’t wait for any tax savings plan; she reached into Treasury Secretary Geithner’s back pocket and plucked out some cash for her rice and cotton farmers. It’s a Disaster Aid package that zeros in on Arkansas. I figure if Sen. Lincoln hands out about $500,000,000, and she needs roughly 500,000 votes to win re-election, that comes to $1000 per vote.
That may seem absurd if you don’t live in Arkansas, but odds are your own Congressman or Senator has grabbed even more to spread among the voters.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes. They speak of it almost like a national calamity." DT #1435, Feb. 27, 1931
"The crime of taxation is not in the taking it, it's in the way that it's spent." DT #1764, March 20, 1932
"Our government is the only people that just loves to spend without being compelled to, at all. But the government is the only people that don't have to worry where it's coming from." Radio, April 21, 1935
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Weekly Comments: Congress delays tax votes, prefers comedy instead #622
Sept. 26, 2010
COLUMBUS: Lindsay Lohan is back in a Hollywood jail. Meanwhile in New York the young woman hiker that Iran let out of jail for $500,000 met with Iran’s Ahmadinejad. She asked him to release the two guys that were with her but they could not agree on a price. Personally, I think we should offer a trade. Iran gives us the two men, and we give them Lohan and Paris Hilton.
Congress announced they do not have time to vote on the income tax bill until after the election. The voters already know where their Congressman stands on health care, the energy tax and illegal immigration, so Speaker Pelosi does not want to saddle the voters with having another hot issue to keep track of. On November 2, they’ll just have to guess whether their Senator or Representative is for or against ‘em. Of course the same bird that says he’s against a higher income tax now can turn around and vote for it after he’s knocked out.
One reason Congress is short of time is they invited comedian Stephen Colbert to testify about his views on farming. In his entire life he worked exactly one day on a farm so naturally Congress wanted to find out what he knew.
If Congress had invited some actual farmers and ranchers they could have heard the real scoop on agriculture. But farmers in the Midwest are all harvesting their corn and soybeans this month and don’t have time to go to Washington, even to ask for relief.
Congress also put off a vote on the inheritance tax. If you die now, your family gets to keep it all. But if you wait till January to die, the government gets first crack at your fortune, and all the heirs get is a check for what’s left over. Rich old folks will be wary of what Christmas packages they allow under the tree. If it’s ticking, out it goes.
Have you noticed that cars today don’t have bumpers? They used to be strong steel that protected your car when, for example, you bumped into another car while parallel parking. But now these so-called bumpers are self-destructing, plastic coated cardboard that collapses at the first hint of a slight bump with another so-called bumper. In the old days if your car rolled into another one at 3 miles per hour you got a slight jolt. Now what you get is a repair bill for $4000.
I read in the Sunday paper that in Cuba, businesses can now hire people to work for them. Maybe we ought to try that.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"Everything is changing in America. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke, when it used to be visa versa." DT #1966, Nov. 22, 1932
"Now they got such a high inheritance tax on 'em that you won't catch these old rich boys dying promiscuously like they did. This bill makes patriots out of everybody. You sure do die for your country if you die from now on." DT #1767, March 23, 1932
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: Lindsay Lohan is back in a Hollywood jail. Meanwhile in New York the young woman hiker that Iran let out of jail for $500,000 met with Iran’s Ahmadinejad. She asked him to release the two guys that were with her but they could not agree on a price. Personally, I think we should offer a trade. Iran gives us the two men, and we give them Lohan and Paris Hilton.
Congress announced they do not have time to vote on the income tax bill until after the election. The voters already know where their Congressman stands on health care, the energy tax and illegal immigration, so Speaker Pelosi does not want to saddle the voters with having another hot issue to keep track of. On November 2, they’ll just have to guess whether their Senator or Representative is for or against ‘em. Of course the same bird that says he’s against a higher income tax now can turn around and vote for it after he’s knocked out.
One reason Congress is short of time is they invited comedian Stephen Colbert to testify about his views on farming. In his entire life he worked exactly one day on a farm so naturally Congress wanted to find out what he knew.
If Congress had invited some actual farmers and ranchers they could have heard the real scoop on agriculture. But farmers in the Midwest are all harvesting their corn and soybeans this month and don’t have time to go to Washington, even to ask for relief.
Congress also put off a vote on the inheritance tax. If you die now, your family gets to keep it all. But if you wait till January to die, the government gets first crack at your fortune, and all the heirs get is a check for what’s left over. Rich old folks will be wary of what Christmas packages they allow under the tree. If it’s ticking, out it goes.
Have you noticed that cars today don’t have bumpers? They used to be strong steel that protected your car when, for example, you bumped into another car while parallel parking. But now these so-called bumpers are self-destructing, plastic coated cardboard that collapses at the first hint of a slight bump with another so-called bumper. In the old days if your car rolled into another one at 3 miles per hour you got a slight jolt. Now what you get is a repair bill for $4000.
I read in the Sunday paper that in Cuba, businesses can now hire people to work for them. Maybe we ought to try that.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"Everything is changing in America. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke, when it used to be visa versa." DT #1966, Nov. 22, 1932
"Now they got such a high inheritance tax on 'em that you won't catch these old rich boys dying promiscuously like they did. This bill makes patriots out of everybody. You sure do die for your country if you die from now on." DT #1767, March 23, 1932
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Weekly Comments: Will suggests a quote for President’s new rug #619
Sept. 5, 2010
COLUMBUS: President Obama redecorated the Oval Office. He kept the historic desk, but ordered a new rug to lay on the floor. He had some of his favorite quotes sewed into the rug. Every time he walks into the office he looks down at it, reads one of those quotes, and it inspires or kinda prepares him for the tribulations and turmoil he’s about to face .
Here’s an authentic quote he should add to the Oval Office rug. "I’m not a member of any organized political party... I’m a Democrat."
Then the next time he wonders, "Why can’t I get anything else through Congress? The House is Democratic, the Senate is Democratic, and I’m a Democrat." Just read the quote.
Here’s another one. "Democrats never agree on anything, that’s why they’re Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they’d be Republicans." The next time Congressman John Boehner came to the Oval Office to sound off about something, he would see that quote and laugh so hard he’d forget what it was he wanted to complain about.
Now, I ain’t all one sided. Someday a Republican will get elected President. Eventually. He’ll throw out the Obama rug and bring in a new one. (Or if he’s like Coolidge, he would just turn the rug over and write on the other side.) Here’s a quote for a Republican president to ponder: "Democrats and Republicans are equally corrupt where money’s concerned. It’s only in the amount where the Republicans excel." In fact, that might explain how he got elected.
The economy keeps getting worse. Almost 10% are unemployed and we lost more jobs in August. Here it is Labor Day, and nobody in Washington can agree on how to get people back to work. Republicans want to extend the tax cuts, but Democrats say that’s ok for the poor, but if you’re rich, you need to pay more. Obama says, "If we give rich people a tax cut they won’t spend it. They just put it in the bank or invest it." Well, maybe that’s how they got rich, by saving rather than spending. Instead of criticizing these folks, the President ought to be promoting them.
If some of that money goes to banks instead of Washington, maybe they’ll see fit to loan it out to business so they can hire more help. Of course, the President has to let these businesses know the government isn’t going to swoop in and take more from them for everyone they hire.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"Last year we said: Things can’t go on like this! and they didn’t. They got worse." Jan. 11, 1930
"But we can't alibi all our ills by just knocking the old banker. First he loaned the money, then the people all at once wanted it back, and he didn't have it. Now he's got it again, and is afraid to loan it, so the poor devil don't know what to do." DT #1833, June 8, 1932
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: President Obama redecorated the Oval Office. He kept the historic desk, but ordered a new rug to lay on the floor. He had some of his favorite quotes sewed into the rug. Every time he walks into the office he looks down at it, reads one of those quotes, and it inspires or kinda prepares him for the tribulations and turmoil he’s about to face .
Here’s an authentic quote he should add to the Oval Office rug. "I’m not a member of any organized political party... I’m a Democrat."
Then the next time he wonders, "Why can’t I get anything else through Congress? The House is Democratic, the Senate is Democratic, and I’m a Democrat." Just read the quote.
Here’s another one. "Democrats never agree on anything, that’s why they’re Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they’d be Republicans." The next time Congressman John Boehner came to the Oval Office to sound off about something, he would see that quote and laugh so hard he’d forget what it was he wanted to complain about.
Now, I ain’t all one sided. Someday a Republican will get elected President. Eventually. He’ll throw out the Obama rug and bring in a new one. (Or if he’s like Coolidge, he would just turn the rug over and write on the other side.) Here’s a quote for a Republican president to ponder: "Democrats and Republicans are equally corrupt where money’s concerned. It’s only in the amount where the Republicans excel." In fact, that might explain how he got elected.
The economy keeps getting worse. Almost 10% are unemployed and we lost more jobs in August. Here it is Labor Day, and nobody in Washington can agree on how to get people back to work. Republicans want to extend the tax cuts, but Democrats say that’s ok for the poor, but if you’re rich, you need to pay more. Obama says, "If we give rich people a tax cut they won’t spend it. They just put it in the bank or invest it." Well, maybe that’s how they got rich, by saving rather than spending. Instead of criticizing these folks, the President ought to be promoting them.
If some of that money goes to banks instead of Washington, maybe they’ll see fit to loan it out to business so they can hire more help. Of course, the President has to let these businesses know the government isn’t going to swoop in and take more from them for everyone they hire.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"Last year we said: Things can’t go on like this! and they didn’t. They got worse." Jan. 11, 1930
"But we can't alibi all our ills by just knocking the old banker. First he loaned the money, then the people all at once wanted it back, and he didn't have it. Now he's got it again, and is afraid to loan it, so the poor devil don't know what to do." DT #1833, June 8, 1932
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
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