Weekly Comments: Taxpayers waiting for relief, except in Arkansas #621

Sept. 19, 2010

COLUMBUS: Congress is back, so the comedy should be getting better. We had a long dry spell because most of them went home in August, locked their door, and didn’t come out till they were forced to return to the old Joke Factory. They would occasionally sneak a peek out the kitchen window, but when they saw what the Tea Party did to some of their friends, they jumped back in bed.

Before I get into the tax bill, did you see where Lady Gaga went to an awards show wearing a "dress" made entirely of meat? It was all beef, what there was of it. Not a speck of cereal. Just some cotton thread to hold it together. Ranchers and cattlemen appreciate her support, but if she ever offers you a slice of rump roast, refuse it.

Democrats and Republicans are arguing over the tax cuts that are expiring January 1. Republicans want to keep all income taxes where they are, but Democrats want to raise ‘em for anyone making over $250,000. Democrats figure that’s only 2 percent of the voters, but Republicans say, "Yes, but that 2 percent pays half the taxes, and their spending keeps the economy going." It all boils down to arithmetic, and who is doing the ciphering. To Democrats, votes is most important. To Republicans, it’s dollars.

I think the Democrats might go along with the Republicans if they adopt a controversial provision from the 1935 Townsend Plan. Dr. Townsend’s plan to give pensions to old folks was to pay them $200 a month, but (and here’s the requirement that killed it in the Senate) they have to spend it. No saving for a rainy day. Every month, spend every dollar.

Now, if these higher income folks, and maybe the rest of us, would agree that every month we’ll spend whatever the savings is between the Republican and Democrat plans, then it might get through Congress. That way, the money will be spent to stimulate the economy. The only difference is, the taxpayer decides where his money is spent instead of President Obama.

In Arkansas, Senator Lincoln didn’t wait for any tax savings plan; she reached into Treasury Secretary Geithner’s back pocket and plucked out some cash for her rice and cotton farmers. It’s a Disaster Aid package that zeros in on Arkansas. I figure if Sen. Lincoln hands out about $500,000,000, and she needs roughly 500,000 votes to win re-election, that comes to $1000 per vote.

That may seem absurd if you don’t live in Arkansas, but odds are your own Congressman or Senator has grabbed even more to spread among the voters.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes. They speak of it almost like a national calamity." DT #1435, Feb. 27, 1931

"The crime of taxation is not in the taking it, it's in the way that it's spent." DT #1764, March 20, 1932
"Our government is the only people that just loves to spend without being compelled to, at all. But the government is the only people that don't have to worry where it's coming from." Radio, April 21, 1935

Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.

Weekly Comments: Volcanic ash has clouded Will’s brain on tax solution #599

April 18, 2010

COLUMBUS: Who would ever imagine that a volcano in Iceland could shut down air travel in Europe. The ash is wreaking havoc and travelers are crowding onto trains and ocean liners, and squeezing into those little cars.

Kinda reminds me of 75 years ago and the dust storms in Oklahoma, Kansas and other Great Plains states. "Flew through these dust storms last night, with the pilot flying entirely by instruments. It’s a terrible thing, and it’s going to bring up some (peculiar) legal cases. If Colorado blows over and lights on top of Kansas, it looks like Kansas ought to pay for the extra top soil. But Kansas can sue them for covering up their crops." (March 28, 1935)

Whether that ash blowing onto Europe will add any value to their soil, I’ve got my doubts. Everyone is focused on the ash, ignoring all the carbon dioxide spewing into the air with it. If it keeps up for a year or two, the question Al Gore and the rest of us will have to answer is: Will all that CO2 cause global warming, or will the ash block the sun and cool us off?

I read a poll that said 66% of Americans are unhappy with the federal income tax system. That’s not unusual around April 15, but the fact is only 53% of us pay income taxes. So I guess there’s a bunch that claim their handout ought to be bigger. With all these unhappy taxpayers, we’re still only paying two-thirds of the cost of government. President Obama has admitted we’ll have deficits of a Trillion dollars a year for ten years, or until China runs out of cash. And he says he has no idea how he can cut costs to decrease the deficit.

A new tax is being tossed around, called a Value Added Tax. It’s a sales tax, and if the VAT is 10%, the Administration says it would collect... now get this... a Trillion dollars a year. What a coincidence. But I don’t think it will work. If everything costs ten percent more, we’ll buy less, and make do. Instead of buying, we’ll grow it, raise it, build it ourselves or do without.

The President held a Nuclear Summit and asked for volunteers to give up their nuclear materials. He was hoping Iran and North Korea and Pakistan would offer to sell us all they got. But no, it was Canada, Mexico and Chile. I bet everyone along our northern border will sleep better tonight knowing the Canadians won’t nuke them.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

"You can’t say civilization don’t advance. In every war they kill you in a new way." DT #1063, Dec. 22, 1929

"Now hang onto your seats while you get this item of expense: Interest on the Public debt is $731 million. They keep jugging with millions and we owe billions. That's where all the money goes that we pay in Taxes. Let's sell off enough of this Country to somebody and pay off all National debts, then the taxes wouldn’t be nearly as much. The Democrats will agree to peddle Texas and Florida, and I am certain the Republicans will let Massachusetts and Rhode Island go." WA #312, Dec. 16, 1928

Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.

Weekly Comments: Will Rogers pinch hits, on taxes #598

#598 April 11, 2010

COLUMBUS: Baseball season is starting as Tax season is closing. Since I’m still tangled up with my income tax return, I’m calling on a Pinch Hitter to take a turn at bat for Weekly Comments.

Now, if you’re in the half of the country that is paying no income taxes this year, and likely coming out ahead, then these comments will be more hilarious than if you’re in the half that makes the first half possible.

Here’s Will Rogers with some major league quips on taxes.

Historic quotes:
This is income tax paying day. No two can agree on what is deductible. When it's made out you don't know if you are crook or martyr... By the way, did you charge off money given to the Democratic campaign? You could, it's a legitimate charity, not organized but a charity nevertheless. (1929)

Everybody knows that one of our great ills today is the unequal distribution of wealth. You are either at a banquet in this country, or you are at a hot dog stand. There is no doubt that the ones with the money are about the only ones that could pay anything, but after all, these durn rich ones are the ones the rest of us got to live off of. If the Government takes all their money in taxes it don't leave any for the folks that work for them. (1932)

There's no income tax in Russia, but there's no income. (1935)

You can't legitimately kick on income tax, for it's on what you have made. But, look at land, farms, homes, stores, vacant lots. You pay year after year on them whether you make it or not. Every land or property owner in America would be tickled to death to pay 45 per cent of his profits, if he didn't have to pay anything if he didn't make it. (1932)

There is a tremendous movement on to get lower taxes on earned incomes. Then will come the real problem, "Who among us on salary are earning our income?" (1929)

You let a Politician return home from Washington and announce, "Boys we lowered your taxes. We had to borrow the money to do it, but we did it." Say, they would elect him for life. (1926)

At the present income tax rate the government takes 55 cents of every dollar from any of the high-priced stars. You see that hires many a politician, and gives some of us a little license to holler how the government is run, even if it's only a holler. (1933)

Presidents have been promising lower taxes since Washington crossed the Delaware by hand in a row boat. But our taxes have gotten bigger and their boats have gotten larger until now the President crosses the Delaware in his private yacht. (1924)

The only way they will ever stop bootlegging is to make them pay an income tax. At present it is a tax-exempt industry. Income tax has stopped every other industry, so there is no reason why it won't stop bootlegging. (1923)

I see by the papers that they are going to do away with all the nuisance taxes. That means that a man can get a marriage license for nothing. (1924)

Now that brings us down to taxes... This money the government is throwing away, well, where's it coming from? Everybody says, "Where's the money coming from we're spending?" I don't know, but just offhand, I'd say it's coming from those that got it. (1935)

Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.