July 5, 2009
COLUMBUS: Al Franken finally got into the Senate. It was a tight race, and it took the lawyers eight months to figure out who won because they were getting paid by the hour. The Republicans in Minnesota set a record in a losing cause: the most money ever spent to keep a comedian out of the Senate.
Dan Thomasson, a fine syndicated newspaper columnist, quoted “me” in his article Sunday, “Al Franken, the comedian turned politician, should be right at home in Congress, which Will Rogers once described as the greatest collection of humorists in the world.” Well, Dan, I appreciate the mention. You’re right, I did refer to Congress a number of times as a bunch of comedians, but never did I use “greatest.” They’ve got too much ego as it is.
If you’re in the Southeastern states, keep an eye out for eight bicyclists who are riding from North Carolina all the way to Oklahoma on the “Trail of Tears.” In case you don’t remember your history, President Andrew Jackson got the Indian Removal Act passed by Congress to make all Indians move west of the Mississippi River. The Supreme Court, under John C. Marshall, said, “No, you can’t do that.” But ole Andy defied the Supreme Court, and had the Army round up the Cherokees and four other tribes at gunpoint and forced them to leave their homes and head west. About one out of every four Cherokees died before they reached what is now Oklahoma. So if you live near that route through Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, Missouri and Arkansas, keep an eye out for those bicycles and clap as they go by.
California is putting on a memorial service for Michael Jackson. Gov. Schwarzenegger missed a big opportunity to trim the state deficit. More than a million and a half people wanted to come to Los Angeles for the service, but California only allowed 17,500. See, they should have moved it to some wide-open spot outside of town, invited everybody, and had state employees run all the concessions. By monopolizing the sales and stretching the service to 3 or 4 days, why California could have cleared a billion dollars just on cold drinks.
Governor Palin announced she is resigning. She hasn’t called me to explain why she’s quitting, so I’ll just let the other commentators do all the speculating.
Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“Politics is the best show in America and I am going to keep on enjoying it. So on with the show.... One thing about the Democrats, they never put on a dull show.” WA #521, Dec. 18, 1932
“Compared to (Congress) I’m an amateur, and the thing about my jokes is they don't hurt anybody. You can say they're funny, or they're horrible, or they're good, or whatever, but they don't do any harm. But with Congress every time they make a joke it's a law... and every time they make a law, it's a joke.” Radio broadcast, May 5, 1935
Randall Reeder is Will Rogers Today
http://willrogerstoday.com willrogers@aol.com
614-477-0439
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Showing posts with label Michael Jackson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michael Jackson. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Weekly Comments: Congress to replace oil from overseas with wind from Washington
June 28, 2009
COLUMBUS: I flew back from Reno Thursday after contributing slightly to the local economy. The Reno Gazette-Journal reported their state economy is so bad they are laying off university professors.
Then I read in the Columbus newspaper that the Ohio Governor plans to solve the state budget problems by – now get this – introducing slot machines. Considering the shape Nevada is in, with their millions of slot machines, I rather doubt they will do much to close a $3 Billion gap for Ohio. But give the governor credit; all five days I was gone he was on the job, working. No side trips to South America.
In Washington, while President Obama had everybody focused on changing health insurance, Congress passed a bill to make all our best fuels more expensive. Now I don’t mean to sound like a Rockefeller in singing praises of oil (and coal and natural gas for that matter), but the reason oil is so popular is because nobody has discovered anything better. You may remember that before crude oil started oozing out of the Pennsylvania hills, we depended on whale oil. It didn’t take an act of Congress to get us off whale oil (although if our current Congress had been around at the time such a bill would have at least been introduced). Their heart may be in the right place; they think our part of the planet is getting warmer, and they did have the good sense to wait to pass it until most of the country was wilting at 90 to 100 degrees.
The Senate hasn’t seen the bill yet, so there is some hope for common sense. A young friend of mine sent a note that “Passage of the Cap and Trade bill and continued federal debt would mean we are trading our dependence on oil for dependence on credit.” Of course the ones we will depend on for loans are China and India. They’ll have plenty of extra dough because they don’t have a Cap and Trade bill.
On Saturday I was at a reunion of some older folks, and they aren’t too thrilled either at the direction the country’s headed. They remember when electricity was a luxury and more people walked than drove. They probably got by on 20 percent of what they use now, which is what the President wants us all to do by 2050.
Last week we lost Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett. They all made millions, but two of the three died a pauper. They’ll all be missed in their own way.
Next Saturday is Independence Day. As we celebrate, remember the ones who sweated over the Declaration of Independence in 1776, and those who have fought to preserve it since. The women in Iran understand that independence from tyranny is worth fighting for.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“There is one rule that works in every calamity. Be it pestilence, war or famine, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. The poor even help arrange it.”
DT #1019, Oct. 31, 1929
“Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, they don't hurt anybody. It's when they do something is when they become dangerous.” DT #1038, Nov. 22, 1929
“... reunions... To talk of old times with old friends is the greatest thing in the world.” WA #169, March 7, 1926
Randall Reeder is Will Rogers Today
http://willrogerstoday.com willrogers@aol.com
614-477-0439
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again
COLUMBUS: I flew back from Reno Thursday after contributing slightly to the local economy. The Reno Gazette-Journal reported their state economy is so bad they are laying off university professors.
Then I read in the Columbus newspaper that the Ohio Governor plans to solve the state budget problems by – now get this – introducing slot machines. Considering the shape Nevada is in, with their millions of slot machines, I rather doubt they will do much to close a $3 Billion gap for Ohio. But give the governor credit; all five days I was gone he was on the job, working. No side trips to South America.
In Washington, while President Obama had everybody focused on changing health insurance, Congress passed a bill to make all our best fuels more expensive. Now I don’t mean to sound like a Rockefeller in singing praises of oil (and coal and natural gas for that matter), but the reason oil is so popular is because nobody has discovered anything better. You may remember that before crude oil started oozing out of the Pennsylvania hills, we depended on whale oil. It didn’t take an act of Congress to get us off whale oil (although if our current Congress had been around at the time such a bill would have at least been introduced). Their heart may be in the right place; they think our part of the planet is getting warmer, and they did have the good sense to wait to pass it until most of the country was wilting at 90 to 100 degrees.
The Senate hasn’t seen the bill yet, so there is some hope for common sense. A young friend of mine sent a note that “Passage of the Cap and Trade bill and continued federal debt would mean we are trading our dependence on oil for dependence on credit.” Of course the ones we will depend on for loans are China and India. They’ll have plenty of extra dough because they don’t have a Cap and Trade bill.
On Saturday I was at a reunion of some older folks, and they aren’t too thrilled either at the direction the country’s headed. They remember when electricity was a luxury and more people walked than drove. They probably got by on 20 percent of what they use now, which is what the President wants us all to do by 2050.
Last week we lost Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett. They all made millions, but two of the three died a pauper. They’ll all be missed in their own way.
Next Saturday is Independence Day. As we celebrate, remember the ones who sweated over the Declaration of Independence in 1776, and those who have fought to preserve it since. The women in Iran understand that independence from tyranny is worth fighting for.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“There is one rule that works in every calamity. Be it pestilence, war or famine, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. The poor even help arrange it.”
DT #1019, Oct. 31, 1929
“Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, they don't hurt anybody. It's when they do something is when they become dangerous.” DT #1038, Nov. 22, 1929
“... reunions... To talk of old times with old friends is the greatest thing in the world.” WA #169, March 7, 1926
Randall Reeder is Will Rogers Today
http://willrogerstoday.com willrogers@aol.com
614-477-0439
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again
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