July 25, 2010
COLUMBUS: President Obama signed the Dodd-Frank Financial Reform bill. But really, it’s more of a Jobs bill, and all the new jobs will be in Washington. Thousands of Wall Streeters will move down there to advise the government on how to reform Wall Street. A couple dozen Harvard professors will be hired to assist them. Their job will be to write the rules in such a way that nobody can understand them except lawyers. Only one thing will be clear: there will be no rules or regulations pertaining to the financial dealings of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Or Congress. Thereby assuring the failure of any financial reforms.
You have read in the papers that Wall Street banks paid bonuses of $2 Billion. These bonuses were paid even though those same outfits went so deep in the hole they had to be bailed out with $800 Billion. It kinda makes you wonder how much those birds rake in when they’re profitable.
Meanwhile, the BP Board of Directors is giving CEO Tony Heyward a $15 Million bonus. To leave. He also gets to keep his yacht and all the oil he can scoop up from the Gulf. No word from the Board yet if they are accepting my suggestion to change the name from BP to Amoco. That idea ought to be worth another $15 Million.
Here in Columbus, the mayor cut the ribbon on a new bridge. It was designed by a Harvard professor named Spiro Pollalis who said the 660 foot long bridge would cost $20 million. It’s called an inclined-arch bridge with one arch, not two, and the arch leans about 10 degrees upstream. Well, he designed it with match sticks and the engineers had to add a million pounds of steel to the design and 2500 cubic yards of concrete so it wouldn’t fall in the river. The cost TRIPLED to $60 million. But the mayor says it’s worth it because this bridge will become the symbol for Columbus, Ohio, the way the Space Needle is to Seattle, the Gateway Arch is to St. Louis and the Leaning Tower is to Pisa.
It seems we spent $20 million to cross the river and $40 million for advertising purposes. From now on, whenever you see on TV a prominent person being interviewed in Columbus, he will be standing in front of this bridge. Or maybe he’ll be standing on it, where hordes of tourists eventually will be photographed, pushing against the tilting arch. The mayor will go down in history because the city will become famous worldwide as the home of the Leaning Bridge of Columbus.
Professor Pollalis was asked about the extra $40 million for his bridge design, he scoffed and said, "In Athens, Greece, today nobody thinks about what the Parthenon cost." He’s right. Greece has been operating by that same economic plan for centuries. That’s why they’re broke.
Historic quote from Will Rogers:
"Banking and After Dinner Speaking are two of the most Non-essential industries we have in this country. I am ready to reform if they are." WA #14, March 14, 1923
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Weekly Comments: Wall Street reform, carbon taxes and the Constitution #612
July 16, 2010
COLUMBUS: The big financial reform bill passed Congress. This is the Dodd-Frank bill I told you about last month. I thought they had passed it at 5 in the morning, but that was only a preliminary bill. They took another three weeks to see how much more they could pile on to it.
They got the bill up to 2300 pages, but they still could not find room for even a paragraph on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. How can they claim to reform Wall Street and prevent another financial catastrophe when the main culprits are left alone? That’s like saying, we will stop illegal immigration by patrolling the Mexican border, except for Arizona.
Next they are going to take on the electric power companies. See, this oil spill down in the Gulf made Congress so mad at Big Oil they are getting even by attacking Coal. Senator Kerry says we can’t tax the carbon in oil and gasoline now, so we’ll tax the carbon in coal. I guess he figures we would gripe if we see the price of gasoline increase at the pump, but an increase in the electric bill will slip through.
It appears that BP has capped the well. Once we know for sure there is no more oil leaking into the Gulf, vacationers will return to the beaches. There will still be millions of gallons of oil floating in the water, but people will react to a few tar balls the same as they do to jellyfish: we’ll put up with a little annoyance to enjoy the water and sandy beaches.
The heat has been in the news, and not just the Heat in Miami that signed LeBron James. It’s been so hot across the country Al Gore wishes he had scheduled a Global Warming conference this month. He could gather his doubters in a big convention center, turn off the air conditioning, and start talking. By supper time they would all be persuaded. And talking all day, Al would sweat so much he could go straight to sleep without need of a massage.
The NAACP is angry at the Tea Party, and the Tea Party is upset about the Black Panthers. The Constitution is in the middle, and you wonder how many have read it.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
(Many folks say) "‘Leave the Constitution alone.’ And that's mighty good logic. But here's something they forget. You or I can rightfully say we got where we are by these laws, but there's a lot of folks that haven't got anywhere under ‘em, you know. And the prospects ain't any too bright for 'em to get any further. So they might not be averse to some small change in the Constitution. They might say, ‘Yes, give us what you've got, and we'll say it's a perfect Constitution, too.’ See?
So it all gets back to just how good has the Constitution been to you? That's all it is. And nobody can answer that question but yourself. I would say that to the big majority, almost a unanimous majority over a long course of years, it's been a mighty fine old document, and any person will think mighty serious before he'll vote for any change in the Constitution." Radio, July 9, 1935
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: The big financial reform bill passed Congress. This is the Dodd-Frank bill I told you about last month. I thought they had passed it at 5 in the morning, but that was only a preliminary bill. They took another three weeks to see how much more they could pile on to it.
They got the bill up to 2300 pages, but they still could not find room for even a paragraph on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. How can they claim to reform Wall Street and prevent another financial catastrophe when the main culprits are left alone? That’s like saying, we will stop illegal immigration by patrolling the Mexican border, except for Arizona.
Next they are going to take on the electric power companies. See, this oil spill down in the Gulf made Congress so mad at Big Oil they are getting even by attacking Coal. Senator Kerry says we can’t tax the carbon in oil and gasoline now, so we’ll tax the carbon in coal. I guess he figures we would gripe if we see the price of gasoline increase at the pump, but an increase in the electric bill will slip through.
It appears that BP has capped the well. Once we know for sure there is no more oil leaking into the Gulf, vacationers will return to the beaches. There will still be millions of gallons of oil floating in the water, but people will react to a few tar balls the same as they do to jellyfish: we’ll put up with a little annoyance to enjoy the water and sandy beaches.
The heat has been in the news, and not just the Heat in Miami that signed LeBron James. It’s been so hot across the country Al Gore wishes he had scheduled a Global Warming conference this month. He could gather his doubters in a big convention center, turn off the air conditioning, and start talking. By supper time they would all be persuaded. And talking all day, Al would sweat so much he could go straight to sleep without need of a massage.
The NAACP is angry at the Tea Party, and the Tea Party is upset about the Black Panthers. The Constitution is in the middle, and you wonder how many have read it.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
(Many folks say) "‘Leave the Constitution alone.’ And that's mighty good logic. But here's something they forget. You or I can rightfully say we got where we are by these laws, but there's a lot of folks that haven't got anywhere under ‘em, you know. And the prospects ain't any too bright for 'em to get any further. So they might not be averse to some small change in the Constitution. They might say, ‘Yes, give us what you've got, and we'll say it's a perfect Constitution, too.’ See?
So it all gets back to just how good has the Constitution been to you? That's all it is. And nobody can answer that question but yourself. I would say that to the big majority, almost a unanimous majority over a long course of years, it's been a mighty fine old document, and any person will think mighty serious before he'll vote for any change in the Constitution." Radio, July 9, 1935
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Weekly Comments: AG Eric Holder announces a surprise lawsuit #611
July 11, 2010
COLUMBUS: Attorney General Eric Holder sued Arizona for passing a law that allows the state to enforce a federal law that bans illegal immigration. He said, "No state has a right to ban illegal immigration because that job belongs to the federal government."
As a follow up, and to promote the Obama Administration views on immigration, Mr. Holder plans to sue the federal government for having a law that bans illegal immigration.
In the Super Bowl of soccer, Spain beat Netherlands 1-0 in the World Cup. Spain scored 8 times in 7 games, the mark of a dominating champion if there ever was one. It took them until near the end of the second overtime to score their only goal, and that was against a team that was a man short.
Now, I know we’re told that Americans should not joke about soccer because it is most popular sport in the world. But we can’t help it. The two easiest jobs in the world are working as a World Cup timekeeper and scorekeeper. The timer starts the clock and returns 45 minutes later to stop it. Then he rests a few minutes and does it again. The only trick to the job is that when hitting the start-stop button he can’t use his hands. The scorekeeper sits beside the timekeeper and when the fellow on the radio, whose only job is to yell G-O-O-O-O-A-A-A-L-L-L-L when someone scores (and that’s the third easiest job), well, that’s when the scorekeeper changes the 0 to 1, and goes back to sleep.
American kids like playing soccer, so when the World Cup comes on again in 4 years we’ll probably watch it. But only if they ban those darned horns.
Al-Qaeda published a new magazine, Inspire, to recruit English-speaking Muslim terrorist bombers. When asked for reaction from the President, a spokesman said, "It’s a missed opportunity. If we had known they were going to publish, we would have bought a full page NASA ad."
Back to the Arizona lawsuit, a friend of mine in Tennessee suggested instead of battling illegal immigration, we should just give back to Mexico the border states of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and Southern California. Then sit back and watch the fun as Mexico figures out how to deal with all their new illegal non-Mexican residents. The only problem is that when Mexico sees the California mountain of debt and Arizona’s foreclosed homes, they would be begging the U.S. to take them back. Mexico would say, "We don’t want to own your states; we just want our people to live and work there and send money home."
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"There is a good deal in the papers about giving my native state of Oklahoma back to the Indians. Now I am Cherokee Indian and very proud of it, but I doubt if you can get them to accept it – not in its present state." WA #59, Jan. 27, 1924
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: Attorney General Eric Holder sued Arizona for passing a law that allows the state to enforce a federal law that bans illegal immigration. He said, "No state has a right to ban illegal immigration because that job belongs to the federal government."
As a follow up, and to promote the Obama Administration views on immigration, Mr. Holder plans to sue the federal government for having a law that bans illegal immigration.
In the Super Bowl of soccer, Spain beat Netherlands 1-0 in the World Cup. Spain scored 8 times in 7 games, the mark of a dominating champion if there ever was one. It took them until near the end of the second overtime to score their only goal, and that was against a team that was a man short.
Now, I know we’re told that Americans should not joke about soccer because it is most popular sport in the world. But we can’t help it. The two easiest jobs in the world are working as a World Cup timekeeper and scorekeeper. The timer starts the clock and returns 45 minutes later to stop it. Then he rests a few minutes and does it again. The only trick to the job is that when hitting the start-stop button he can’t use his hands. The scorekeeper sits beside the timekeeper and when the fellow on the radio, whose only job is to yell G-O-O-O-O-A-A-A-L-L-L-L when someone scores (and that’s the third easiest job), well, that’s when the scorekeeper changes the 0 to 1, and goes back to sleep.
American kids like playing soccer, so when the World Cup comes on again in 4 years we’ll probably watch it. But only if they ban those darned horns.
Al-Qaeda published a new magazine, Inspire, to recruit English-speaking Muslim terrorist bombers. When asked for reaction from the President, a spokesman said, "It’s a missed opportunity. If we had known they were going to publish, we would have bought a full page NASA ad."
Back to the Arizona lawsuit, a friend of mine in Tennessee suggested instead of battling illegal immigration, we should just give back to Mexico the border states of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and Southern California. Then sit back and watch the fun as Mexico figures out how to deal with all their new illegal non-Mexican residents. The only problem is that when Mexico sees the California mountain of debt and Arizona’s foreclosed homes, they would be begging the U.S. to take them back. Mexico would say, "We don’t want to own your states; we just want our people to live and work there and send money home."
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"There is a good deal in the papers about giving my native state of Oklahoma back to the Indians. Now I am Cherokee Indian and very proud of it, but I doubt if you can get them to accept it – not in its present state." WA #59, Jan. 27, 1924
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Weekly Comments: Sen. Byrd helps state one last time #610
July 4, 2010
WESTON, West Va: Senator Robert Byrd left the Capitol Building for a final time last week. He was elected to Congress the same year Eisenhower was elected President, 1952.
As President, Eisenhower is remembered for building the Interstate Highway system. In West Virginia, Byrd is remembered for building everything else. Not quite, but he did arrange for a few buildings, including Social Security and FBI units, to settle in West Virginia when they ran out of space in DC.
I got to introduce him once in 1978 in Charleston when a wonderful group called Toastmasters gave him a Communication and Leadership award. He was the Senate Majority Leader at the time.
Byrd’s funeral was Friday in Charleston. When you look over the list of dignitaries who attended, including the President and Congressional leaders, you realize that, even in death, he managed to bring a few more federal dollars to his home state.
Down on the Gulf coast, a lot of beaches were deserted for the holiday. Usually hurricanes get the blame, but this year it’s BP.
I don’t want to get tarred and feathered for helping out BP, but if we expect them to pay all these Billions in costs, they’ve got to sell some gasoline, and people are boycotting BP filling stations. Here’s my idea: change the name of the stations from BP to Amoco. Americans like Amoco, which traces it’s roots to the Standard Oil companies of John D. Rockefeller. Henry Ford and Rockefeller did more to put Americans on the move than anyone. And Eisenhower helped them get there on smooth pavement without a stoplight at every intersection.
Did you know that President Calvin Coolidge was born on July 4? He has become kind of a patron saint to the Tea Party folks, not because of when he was born but what he did as President. Here’s how I summarized his record as he left office in March 1929:"Coolidge (becomes President) and does nothing and retires a hero, not only because he hadn't done anything but because he had done it better than anyone."
President Obama gave a speech on illegal immigration: "No matter how decent they are, the 11 million who broke these laws should be held accountable. We’re going to publish their pictures in the newspaper. Then we’ll expedite their hearings so they can vote in 2012." He didn’t really say the last part, but he was thinking it. The 11 million he referred to is an underestimate, and if he wrangles a way to make these folks American citizens without shutting down our borders, he’ll find out there’s 20 or 30 million by the time he leaves office.
Historic quote from Will Rogers: (on Independence Day speeches)
"Never was as much politics indulged in under the guise of Freedom and Liberty. They was 5 per cent what George Washington did, and 95 per cent what the speaker intended to do." DT #2782, July 5, 1935
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
WESTON, West Va: Senator Robert Byrd left the Capitol Building for a final time last week. He was elected to Congress the same year Eisenhower was elected President, 1952.
As President, Eisenhower is remembered for building the Interstate Highway system. In West Virginia, Byrd is remembered for building everything else. Not quite, but he did arrange for a few buildings, including Social Security and FBI units, to settle in West Virginia when they ran out of space in DC.
I got to introduce him once in 1978 in Charleston when a wonderful group called Toastmasters gave him a Communication and Leadership award. He was the Senate Majority Leader at the time.
Byrd’s funeral was Friday in Charleston. When you look over the list of dignitaries who attended, including the President and Congressional leaders, you realize that, even in death, he managed to bring a few more federal dollars to his home state.
Down on the Gulf coast, a lot of beaches were deserted for the holiday. Usually hurricanes get the blame, but this year it’s BP.
I don’t want to get tarred and feathered for helping out BP, but if we expect them to pay all these Billions in costs, they’ve got to sell some gasoline, and people are boycotting BP filling stations. Here’s my idea: change the name of the stations from BP to Amoco. Americans like Amoco, which traces it’s roots to the Standard Oil companies of John D. Rockefeller. Henry Ford and Rockefeller did more to put Americans on the move than anyone. And Eisenhower helped them get there on smooth pavement without a stoplight at every intersection.
Did you know that President Calvin Coolidge was born on July 4? He has become kind of a patron saint to the Tea Party folks, not because of when he was born but what he did as President. Here’s how I summarized his record as he left office in March 1929:"Coolidge (becomes President) and does nothing and retires a hero, not only because he hadn't done anything but because he had done it better than anyone."
President Obama gave a speech on illegal immigration: "No matter how decent they are, the 11 million who broke these laws should be held accountable. We’re going to publish their pictures in the newspaper. Then we’ll expedite their hearings so they can vote in 2012." He didn’t really say the last part, but he was thinking it. The 11 million he referred to is an underestimate, and if he wrangles a way to make these folks American citizens without shutting down our borders, he’ll find out there’s 20 or 30 million by the time he leaves office.
Historic quote from Will Rogers: (on Independence Day speeches)
"Never was as much politics indulged in under the guise of Freedom and Liberty. They was 5 per cent what George Washington did, and 95 per cent what the speaker intended to do." DT #2782, July 5, 1935
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Weekly Comments: Dodd-Frank, Smoot-Hawley, McChrystal and Lady Gaga #609
June 27, 2010
COLUMBUS: Congress passed a financial reform bill last Friday at 5 in the morning. That’s an odd time for a Congressman to be doing anything, except maybe staggering home.
When I read that the purpose of the bill is "to put a damper on wild and reckless spending of other people’s money by the people in charge," I figured, ‘That’s great.’ And now that we’ve got a damper on Congress, maybe we can also regulate Wall Street.
This new Wall Street and Bank regulation bill is named the Dodd-Frank bill because those two birds had more to do with the financial crisis than anyone else in Congress. Senator Dodd got himself a cheap mortgage to buy a second home he couldn’t afford, and Congressman Frank insisted that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac give loans to families that couldn’t pay the interest, driving Fannie and Freddie to bankruptcy. So now we’ve got financial reform that covers every bank in the country. Except Fannie and Freddie.
Dodd and Frank are hoping this bill doesn’t do for them what the Smoot-Hawley tariff bill exactly 80 years ago did for the reputation of those two Republicans. The Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act practically shut down world trade and did more than any other single action to turn a 1929 Wall Street crash into the Great Depression.
The G-20 meeting is in Toronto, and you know what that means. Protesters. This year the protesters are mainly hoodlums who could not afford airfare to the World Cup. Half of them are protesting because they think G20 is a fruity sports drink that tastes sour. They couldn’t identify the 20 countries on a map if their life depended on it.
Canada is spending close to a billion dollars on police for G-20. At $50 million per country maybe this is one meeting that ought to be held over the internet. President Obama likes Twitter, so maybe they should have a #G20chat.
Canada has arrested 500 protesters. Back in 1917 I had a suggestion on what to do with young folks who were marching in protest to the War. "Put them in the Army. This marching is just the training our soldiers get before being sent to fight in Europe." (Paraphrased)
Obama told the other 19 countries he wants them to buy more American products because that’s the only way he can cut the deficit in half. These other countries aren’t quite sure they want the job of balancing Obama’s budget, although Russia did agree to eat more chicken.
General McChrystal got fired. He probably deserved it. Not for disagreeing with the President, but for treating a Rolling Stone writer like a journalist. The magazine cover has a picture of a mostly naked woman who calls herself Lady Gaga. (Some folks think she should leave off the last a.) In a shopping mall today I saw a sign advertising "Bikinis half off". I wanted to go in the store and ask, "Which half is off?" Well, last week Lady Gaga showed up at Yankee Stadium dressed like she had come directly from that store.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"We sure had a great July Fourth, especially after we picked up our morning papers and found that Congress had adjourned the night of the third... This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as we do when the baby gets hold of a hammer. It's just a question of how much damage he can do with it before you can take it away from him. Well, in eighteen months these babies have left a record of devastation." DT # 1230, July 4, 1930 (shortly after passing Smoot-Hawley)
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: Congress passed a financial reform bill last Friday at 5 in the morning. That’s an odd time for a Congressman to be doing anything, except maybe staggering home.
When I read that the purpose of the bill is "to put a damper on wild and reckless spending of other people’s money by the people in charge," I figured, ‘That’s great.’ And now that we’ve got a damper on Congress, maybe we can also regulate Wall Street.
This new Wall Street and Bank regulation bill is named the Dodd-Frank bill because those two birds had more to do with the financial crisis than anyone else in Congress. Senator Dodd got himself a cheap mortgage to buy a second home he couldn’t afford, and Congressman Frank insisted that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac give loans to families that couldn’t pay the interest, driving Fannie and Freddie to bankruptcy. So now we’ve got financial reform that covers every bank in the country. Except Fannie and Freddie.
Dodd and Frank are hoping this bill doesn’t do for them what the Smoot-Hawley tariff bill exactly 80 years ago did for the reputation of those two Republicans. The Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act practically shut down world trade and did more than any other single action to turn a 1929 Wall Street crash into the Great Depression.
The G-20 meeting is in Toronto, and you know what that means. Protesters. This year the protesters are mainly hoodlums who could not afford airfare to the World Cup. Half of them are protesting because they think G20 is a fruity sports drink that tastes sour. They couldn’t identify the 20 countries on a map if their life depended on it.
Canada is spending close to a billion dollars on police for G-20. At $50 million per country maybe this is one meeting that ought to be held over the internet. President Obama likes Twitter, so maybe they should have a #G20chat.
Canada has arrested 500 protesters. Back in 1917 I had a suggestion on what to do with young folks who were marching in protest to the War. "Put them in the Army. This marching is just the training our soldiers get before being sent to fight in Europe." (Paraphrased)
Obama told the other 19 countries he wants them to buy more American products because that’s the only way he can cut the deficit in half. These other countries aren’t quite sure they want the job of balancing Obama’s budget, although Russia did agree to eat more chicken.
General McChrystal got fired. He probably deserved it. Not for disagreeing with the President, but for treating a Rolling Stone writer like a journalist. The magazine cover has a picture of a mostly naked woman who calls herself Lady Gaga. (Some folks think she should leave off the last a.) In a shopping mall today I saw a sign advertising "Bikinis half off". I wanted to go in the store and ask, "Which half is off?" Well, last week Lady Gaga showed up at Yankee Stadium dressed like she had come directly from that store.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"We sure had a great July Fourth, especially after we picked up our morning papers and found that Congress had adjourned the night of the third... This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as we do when the baby gets hold of a hammer. It's just a question of how much damage he can do with it before you can take it away from him. Well, in eighteen months these babies have left a record of devastation." DT # 1230, July 4, 1930 (shortly after passing Smoot-Hawley)
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Weekly Comments: What BP really wanted to tell Congress #608
June 20, 2010
COLUMBUS: Congress grilled Tony Hayward. By the tone of their questions to the president of BP, some of them literally wanted to put him on one of those big rotisserie grills where you roast a pig. Those Congressmen wanted a piece of him, preferably well done.
Years ago, I would sometimes make up a narrative for a Weekly Article. Last week if BP’s Hayward had said what he was thinking instead of what the company lawyers told him to say, I think the Congressional hearing would have been more honest and educational.
Congressman: How long do you think you will keep your job?
BP: I’m not spending even one minute thinking about keeping my job. We’re working to cap the well and then clean up the Gulf. By the way, how much time do you spend raising money to keep your job?
Congressman: Didn’t you take unnecessary risks with drilling this well? I demand an answer, Yes or No.
BP: Yes. We were forced, unnecessarily, to drill in water a mile deep. That’s an unnecessary risk. We prefer drilling on land, or in shallow water. On federal land, this well would have been capped quickly, put into production, and we would already be writing checks to the U.S. Treasury. Big checks.
Congressman: Why weren’t you personally overseeing the drilling of that well?
BP: We have drilled hundreds of wells every year for years around the world. I can’t keep an eye on each one.
Congressman (interrupting): I have had hundreds of pork barrel projects in my District, and I always keep close tabs on each one.
BP: At BP we don’t have a "grand opening" when a well is completed, and I don’t show up for photos. My job is to run a company. I have to balance a budget. Last year we took in $20 Billion more than we spent. How did you fellows do with your budget?
Congressman: Do you have technical assistants here today?
BP: No, it’s just me. They’re all working to stop the leak. That’s our main concern.
Congressman: I’m most concerned about the small business people along the Gulf coast.
BP. I’m concerned about the small people, too. We’ll make payments to all the small people who are harmed economically by the spill. Now, your President has imposed a 6-month delay in all off-shore drilling. Who will pay the laid off workers, and small businesses harmed by this unnecessary decision?
Now, that would have been entertaining. The well may be putting out 100,000 barrels a day (worth, conservatively, $5 million/day) so you know Mr. Hayward wants to stop the leak even if he did take a day off to watch a yacht race.
This is Father’s Day, and also West Virginia Day. In 1863, after General Stonewall Jackson got killed at Chancellorsville in May, the western half of old Virginia gave up on the Confederacy and asked President Lincoln if they could split and join up with him. Lincoln agreed and signed the papers.
Ironically, 147 years later we’ve got a state already in the Union who asked the President for help, and instead he is going to sue them. Just another example of why, despite all our hopes and dreams, there may never be another Lincoln.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"(You have heard) Lincoln's famous remark, "God must have loved the common people because he made so many of them." You are not going to get people's votes nowadays by calling them common. Lincoln might have said it but I bet you it was not until after he was elected." WA #84, July 20, 1924
(At the end of a tribute on Mother’s Day... ) "Father had a day, but you can't find anybody who remembers when it was. It's been so confused with April the first." Radio, May 12, 1935
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: Congress grilled Tony Hayward. By the tone of their questions to the president of BP, some of them literally wanted to put him on one of those big rotisserie grills where you roast a pig. Those Congressmen wanted a piece of him, preferably well done.
Years ago, I would sometimes make up a narrative for a Weekly Article. Last week if BP’s Hayward had said what he was thinking instead of what the company lawyers told him to say, I think the Congressional hearing would have been more honest and educational.
Congressman: How long do you think you will keep your job?
BP: I’m not spending even one minute thinking about keeping my job. We’re working to cap the well and then clean up the Gulf. By the way, how much time do you spend raising money to keep your job?
Congressman: Didn’t you take unnecessary risks with drilling this well? I demand an answer, Yes or No.
BP: Yes. We were forced, unnecessarily, to drill in water a mile deep. That’s an unnecessary risk. We prefer drilling on land, or in shallow water. On federal land, this well would have been capped quickly, put into production, and we would already be writing checks to the U.S. Treasury. Big checks.
Congressman: Why weren’t you personally overseeing the drilling of that well?
BP: We have drilled hundreds of wells every year for years around the world. I can’t keep an eye on each one.
Congressman (interrupting): I have had hundreds of pork barrel projects in my District, and I always keep close tabs on each one.
BP: At BP we don’t have a "grand opening" when a well is completed, and I don’t show up for photos. My job is to run a company. I have to balance a budget. Last year we took in $20 Billion more than we spent. How did you fellows do with your budget?
Congressman: Do you have technical assistants here today?
BP: No, it’s just me. They’re all working to stop the leak. That’s our main concern.
Congressman: I’m most concerned about the small business people along the Gulf coast.
BP. I’m concerned about the small people, too. We’ll make payments to all the small people who are harmed economically by the spill. Now, your President has imposed a 6-month delay in all off-shore drilling. Who will pay the laid off workers, and small businesses harmed by this unnecessary decision?
Now, that would have been entertaining. The well may be putting out 100,000 barrels a day (worth, conservatively, $5 million/day) so you know Mr. Hayward wants to stop the leak even if he did take a day off to watch a yacht race.
This is Father’s Day, and also West Virginia Day. In 1863, after General Stonewall Jackson got killed at Chancellorsville in May, the western half of old Virginia gave up on the Confederacy and asked President Lincoln if they could split and join up with him. Lincoln agreed and signed the papers.
Ironically, 147 years later we’ve got a state already in the Union who asked the President for help, and instead he is going to sue them. Just another example of why, despite all our hopes and dreams, there may never be another Lincoln.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"(You have heard) Lincoln's famous remark, "God must have loved the common people because he made so many of them." You are not going to get people's votes nowadays by calling them common. Lincoln might have said it but I bet you it was not until after he was elected." WA #84, July 20, 1924
(At the end of a tribute on Mother’s Day... ) "Father had a day, but you can't find anybody who remembers when it was. It's been so confused with April the first." Radio, May 12, 1935
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Weekly Comments: Shovel and pail can aid oil spill #607
June 13, 2010
COLUMBUS: President Obama has called the BP President to the White House for an Oil Summit. If he really wants to stop the oil gusher, he should also bring in the presidents from Exxon, Chevron, Shell and Conoco-Phillips.
These Big Oil presidents are scheduled to meet with Congress on Tuesday. That’ll be a bigger waste than the uncapped well. Congressmen will spend all day asking long-winded questions because they’re on television. There’ll be no time left for answers.
Instead, President Obama needs to get all these fellows huddled in a back room at the White House. He could say, "Give me your five best ideas on how to cap the well." There ought to be at least a couple plans that could work.
Folks keep raising the guess on how much oil is being spilled. Last I heard the well might be producing 50,000 barrels a day. If it was in your home state instead of a mile under water in the Gulf, can you imagine the headlines? It would be bigger the California gold strike in ‘49. Local officials would be dancing in the streets. The Governor would declare a holiday.
Meanwhile the environmentalists are battling the Chamber of Commerce. On TV every night the environmentalists tell how terrible the oil is along the coast from Louisiana to Key West. That scares away the vacationers. Then the local Chamber comes on and says, "No, the beaches in our town are clean, no oil in sight. Bring your family and enjoy our pristine sand."
This could be a great beach vacation season for families. Along with sun screen and beach chairs, make sure every kid has a shovel and pail. If the beach has no oil, they build sand castles. If there is some oil, the kids can put their shovels and pails to good use, cleaning a stretch of beach. They get to keep all the oil they can haul home.
The World Cup has started in South Africa. In the first three days, all the games either ended in a tie or a shutout. I don’t know much about soccer. I heard an expert say after the United States and England tied 1-1, that a tie was better than a win. So now I know even less than I thought. Here’s how the World Cup will be decided: any team that can’t score is eliminated. The teams that can score enough to tie their opponents will be declared Champions. A 10-way tie for World Cup Champion would be about perfect.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"After a football (soccer) game in Lima, Peru, five were killed. They only kill ten in a revolution down there, so two games equals one revolution. Up here we don't kill our football players. We make coaches out of the smartest ones and send the others to the Legislature." DT #1389, Jan. 5, 1931
"For five straight years (Uruguay) has had the champion football soccer team in the world, and they play any country. The referee stays inside a big wire net where the spectators can't get at him. Down here the people vote on whether they will hold a football game or a revolution, both equal in casualties." DT #1939, Oct. 21, 1932
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: President Obama has called the BP President to the White House for an Oil Summit. If he really wants to stop the oil gusher, he should also bring in the presidents from Exxon, Chevron, Shell and Conoco-Phillips.
These Big Oil presidents are scheduled to meet with Congress on Tuesday. That’ll be a bigger waste than the uncapped well. Congressmen will spend all day asking long-winded questions because they’re on television. There’ll be no time left for answers.
Instead, President Obama needs to get all these fellows huddled in a back room at the White House. He could say, "Give me your five best ideas on how to cap the well." There ought to be at least a couple plans that could work.
Folks keep raising the guess on how much oil is being spilled. Last I heard the well might be producing 50,000 barrels a day. If it was in your home state instead of a mile under water in the Gulf, can you imagine the headlines? It would be bigger the California gold strike in ‘49. Local officials would be dancing in the streets. The Governor would declare a holiday.
Meanwhile the environmentalists are battling the Chamber of Commerce. On TV every night the environmentalists tell how terrible the oil is along the coast from Louisiana to Key West. That scares away the vacationers. Then the local Chamber comes on and says, "No, the beaches in our town are clean, no oil in sight. Bring your family and enjoy our pristine sand."
This could be a great beach vacation season for families. Along with sun screen and beach chairs, make sure every kid has a shovel and pail. If the beach has no oil, they build sand castles. If there is some oil, the kids can put their shovels and pails to good use, cleaning a stretch of beach. They get to keep all the oil they can haul home.
The World Cup has started in South Africa. In the first three days, all the games either ended in a tie or a shutout. I don’t know much about soccer. I heard an expert say after the United States and England tied 1-1, that a tie was better than a win. So now I know even less than I thought. Here’s how the World Cup will be decided: any team that can’t score is eliminated. The teams that can score enough to tie their opponents will be declared Champions. A 10-way tie for World Cup Champion would be about perfect.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"After a football (soccer) game in Lima, Peru, five were killed. They only kill ten in a revolution down there, so two games equals one revolution. Up here we don't kill our football players. We make coaches out of the smartest ones and send the others to the Legislature." DT #1389, Jan. 5, 1931
"For five straight years (Uruguay) has had the champion football soccer team in the world, and they play any country. The referee stays inside a big wire net where the spectators can't get at him. Down here the people vote on whether they will hold a football game or a revolution, both equal in casualties." DT #1939, Oct. 21, 1932
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
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