July 4, 2010
WESTON, West Va: Senator Robert Byrd left the Capitol Building for a final time last week. He was elected to Congress the same year Eisenhower was elected President, 1952.
As President, Eisenhower is remembered for building the Interstate Highway system. In West Virginia, Byrd is remembered for building everything else. Not quite, but he did arrange for a few buildings, including Social Security and FBI units, to settle in West Virginia when they ran out of space in DC.
I got to introduce him once in 1978 in Charleston when a wonderful group called Toastmasters gave him a Communication and Leadership award. He was the Senate Majority Leader at the time.
Byrd’s funeral was Friday in Charleston. When you look over the list of dignitaries who attended, including the President and Congressional leaders, you realize that, even in death, he managed to bring a few more federal dollars to his home state.
Down on the Gulf coast, a lot of beaches were deserted for the holiday. Usually hurricanes get the blame, but this year it’s BP.
I don’t want to get tarred and feathered for helping out BP, but if we expect them to pay all these Billions in costs, they’ve got to sell some gasoline, and people are boycotting BP filling stations. Here’s my idea: change the name of the stations from BP to Amoco. Americans like Amoco, which traces it’s roots to the Standard Oil companies of John D. Rockefeller. Henry Ford and Rockefeller did more to put Americans on the move than anyone. And Eisenhower helped them get there on smooth pavement without a stoplight at every intersection.
Did you know that President Calvin Coolidge was born on July 4? He has become kind of a patron saint to the Tea Party folks, not because of when he was born but what he did as President. Here’s how I summarized his record as he left office in March 1929:"Coolidge (becomes President) and does nothing and retires a hero, not only because he hadn't done anything but because he had done it better than anyone."
President Obama gave a speech on illegal immigration: "No matter how decent they are, the 11 million who broke these laws should be held accountable. We’re going to publish their pictures in the newspaper. Then we’ll expedite their hearings so they can vote in 2012." He didn’t really say the last part, but he was thinking it. The 11 million he referred to is an underestimate, and if he wrangles a way to make these folks American citizens without shutting down our borders, he’ll find out there’s 20 or 30 million by the time he leaves office.
Historic quote from Will Rogers: (on Independence Day speeches)
"Never was as much politics indulged in under the guise of Freedom and Liberty. They was 5 per cent what George Washington did, and 95 per cent what the speaker intended to do." DT #2782, July 5, 1935
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Showing posts with label BP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BP. Show all posts
Monday, July 5, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Weekly Comments: What BP really wanted to tell Congress #608
June 20, 2010
COLUMBUS: Congress grilled Tony Hayward. By the tone of their questions to the president of BP, some of them literally wanted to put him on one of those big rotisserie grills where you roast a pig. Those Congressmen wanted a piece of him, preferably well done.
Years ago, I would sometimes make up a narrative for a Weekly Article. Last week if BP’s Hayward had said what he was thinking instead of what the company lawyers told him to say, I think the Congressional hearing would have been more honest and educational.
Congressman: How long do you think you will keep your job?
BP: I’m not spending even one minute thinking about keeping my job. We’re working to cap the well and then clean up the Gulf. By the way, how much time do you spend raising money to keep your job?
Congressman: Didn’t you take unnecessary risks with drilling this well? I demand an answer, Yes or No.
BP: Yes. We were forced, unnecessarily, to drill in water a mile deep. That’s an unnecessary risk. We prefer drilling on land, or in shallow water. On federal land, this well would have been capped quickly, put into production, and we would already be writing checks to the U.S. Treasury. Big checks.
Congressman: Why weren’t you personally overseeing the drilling of that well?
BP: We have drilled hundreds of wells every year for years around the world. I can’t keep an eye on each one.
Congressman (interrupting): I have had hundreds of pork barrel projects in my District, and I always keep close tabs on each one.
BP: At BP we don’t have a "grand opening" when a well is completed, and I don’t show up for photos. My job is to run a company. I have to balance a budget. Last year we took in $20 Billion more than we spent. How did you fellows do with your budget?
Congressman: Do you have technical assistants here today?
BP: No, it’s just me. They’re all working to stop the leak. That’s our main concern.
Congressman: I’m most concerned about the small business people along the Gulf coast.
BP. I’m concerned about the small people, too. We’ll make payments to all the small people who are harmed economically by the spill. Now, your President has imposed a 6-month delay in all off-shore drilling. Who will pay the laid off workers, and small businesses harmed by this unnecessary decision?
Now, that would have been entertaining. The well may be putting out 100,000 barrels a day (worth, conservatively, $5 million/day) so you know Mr. Hayward wants to stop the leak even if he did take a day off to watch a yacht race.
This is Father’s Day, and also West Virginia Day. In 1863, after General Stonewall Jackson got killed at Chancellorsville in May, the western half of old Virginia gave up on the Confederacy and asked President Lincoln if they could split and join up with him. Lincoln agreed and signed the papers.
Ironically, 147 years later we’ve got a state already in the Union who asked the President for help, and instead he is going to sue them. Just another example of why, despite all our hopes and dreams, there may never be another Lincoln.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"(You have heard) Lincoln's famous remark, "God must have loved the common people because he made so many of them." You are not going to get people's votes nowadays by calling them common. Lincoln might have said it but I bet you it was not until after he was elected." WA #84, July 20, 1924
(At the end of a tribute on Mother’s Day... ) "Father had a day, but you can't find anybody who remembers when it was. It's been so confused with April the first." Radio, May 12, 1935
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: Congress grilled Tony Hayward. By the tone of their questions to the president of BP, some of them literally wanted to put him on one of those big rotisserie grills where you roast a pig. Those Congressmen wanted a piece of him, preferably well done.
Years ago, I would sometimes make up a narrative for a Weekly Article. Last week if BP’s Hayward had said what he was thinking instead of what the company lawyers told him to say, I think the Congressional hearing would have been more honest and educational.
Congressman: How long do you think you will keep your job?
BP: I’m not spending even one minute thinking about keeping my job. We’re working to cap the well and then clean up the Gulf. By the way, how much time do you spend raising money to keep your job?
Congressman: Didn’t you take unnecessary risks with drilling this well? I demand an answer, Yes or No.
BP: Yes. We were forced, unnecessarily, to drill in water a mile deep. That’s an unnecessary risk. We prefer drilling on land, or in shallow water. On federal land, this well would have been capped quickly, put into production, and we would already be writing checks to the U.S. Treasury. Big checks.
Congressman: Why weren’t you personally overseeing the drilling of that well?
BP: We have drilled hundreds of wells every year for years around the world. I can’t keep an eye on each one.
Congressman (interrupting): I have had hundreds of pork barrel projects in my District, and I always keep close tabs on each one.
BP: At BP we don’t have a "grand opening" when a well is completed, and I don’t show up for photos. My job is to run a company. I have to balance a budget. Last year we took in $20 Billion more than we spent. How did you fellows do with your budget?
Congressman: Do you have technical assistants here today?
BP: No, it’s just me. They’re all working to stop the leak. That’s our main concern.
Congressman: I’m most concerned about the small business people along the Gulf coast.
BP. I’m concerned about the small people, too. We’ll make payments to all the small people who are harmed economically by the spill. Now, your President has imposed a 6-month delay in all off-shore drilling. Who will pay the laid off workers, and small businesses harmed by this unnecessary decision?
Now, that would have been entertaining. The well may be putting out 100,000 barrels a day (worth, conservatively, $5 million/day) so you know Mr. Hayward wants to stop the leak even if he did take a day off to watch a yacht race.
This is Father’s Day, and also West Virginia Day. In 1863, after General Stonewall Jackson got killed at Chancellorsville in May, the western half of old Virginia gave up on the Confederacy and asked President Lincoln if they could split and join up with him. Lincoln agreed and signed the papers.
Ironically, 147 years later we’ve got a state already in the Union who asked the President for help, and instead he is going to sue them. Just another example of why, despite all our hopes and dreams, there may never be another Lincoln.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"(You have heard) Lincoln's famous remark, "God must have loved the common people because he made so many of them." You are not going to get people's votes nowadays by calling them common. Lincoln might have said it but I bet you it was not until after he was elected." WA #84, July 20, 1924
(At the end of a tribute on Mother’s Day... ) "Father had a day, but you can't find anybody who remembers when it was. It's been so confused with April the first." Radio, May 12, 1935
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Weekly Comments: Shovel and pail can aid oil spill #607
June 13, 2010
COLUMBUS: President Obama has called the BP President to the White House for an Oil Summit. If he really wants to stop the oil gusher, he should also bring in the presidents from Exxon, Chevron, Shell and Conoco-Phillips.
These Big Oil presidents are scheduled to meet with Congress on Tuesday. That’ll be a bigger waste than the uncapped well. Congressmen will spend all day asking long-winded questions because they’re on television. There’ll be no time left for answers.
Instead, President Obama needs to get all these fellows huddled in a back room at the White House. He could say, "Give me your five best ideas on how to cap the well." There ought to be at least a couple plans that could work.
Folks keep raising the guess on how much oil is being spilled. Last I heard the well might be producing 50,000 barrels a day. If it was in your home state instead of a mile under water in the Gulf, can you imagine the headlines? It would be bigger the California gold strike in ‘49. Local officials would be dancing in the streets. The Governor would declare a holiday.
Meanwhile the environmentalists are battling the Chamber of Commerce. On TV every night the environmentalists tell how terrible the oil is along the coast from Louisiana to Key West. That scares away the vacationers. Then the local Chamber comes on and says, "No, the beaches in our town are clean, no oil in sight. Bring your family and enjoy our pristine sand."
This could be a great beach vacation season for families. Along with sun screen and beach chairs, make sure every kid has a shovel and pail. If the beach has no oil, they build sand castles. If there is some oil, the kids can put their shovels and pails to good use, cleaning a stretch of beach. They get to keep all the oil they can haul home.
The World Cup has started in South Africa. In the first three days, all the games either ended in a tie or a shutout. I don’t know much about soccer. I heard an expert say after the United States and England tied 1-1, that a tie was better than a win. So now I know even less than I thought. Here’s how the World Cup will be decided: any team that can’t score is eliminated. The teams that can score enough to tie their opponents will be declared Champions. A 10-way tie for World Cup Champion would be about perfect.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"After a football (soccer) game in Lima, Peru, five were killed. They only kill ten in a revolution down there, so two games equals one revolution. Up here we don't kill our football players. We make coaches out of the smartest ones and send the others to the Legislature." DT #1389, Jan. 5, 1931
"For five straight years (Uruguay) has had the champion football soccer team in the world, and they play any country. The referee stays inside a big wire net where the spectators can't get at him. Down here the people vote on whether they will hold a football game or a revolution, both equal in casualties." DT #1939, Oct. 21, 1932
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: President Obama has called the BP President to the White House for an Oil Summit. If he really wants to stop the oil gusher, he should also bring in the presidents from Exxon, Chevron, Shell and Conoco-Phillips.
These Big Oil presidents are scheduled to meet with Congress on Tuesday. That’ll be a bigger waste than the uncapped well. Congressmen will spend all day asking long-winded questions because they’re on television. There’ll be no time left for answers.
Instead, President Obama needs to get all these fellows huddled in a back room at the White House. He could say, "Give me your five best ideas on how to cap the well." There ought to be at least a couple plans that could work.
Folks keep raising the guess on how much oil is being spilled. Last I heard the well might be producing 50,000 barrels a day. If it was in your home state instead of a mile under water in the Gulf, can you imagine the headlines? It would be bigger the California gold strike in ‘49. Local officials would be dancing in the streets. The Governor would declare a holiday.
Meanwhile the environmentalists are battling the Chamber of Commerce. On TV every night the environmentalists tell how terrible the oil is along the coast from Louisiana to Key West. That scares away the vacationers. Then the local Chamber comes on and says, "No, the beaches in our town are clean, no oil in sight. Bring your family and enjoy our pristine sand."
This could be a great beach vacation season for families. Along with sun screen and beach chairs, make sure every kid has a shovel and pail. If the beach has no oil, they build sand castles. If there is some oil, the kids can put their shovels and pails to good use, cleaning a stretch of beach. They get to keep all the oil they can haul home.
The World Cup has started in South Africa. In the first three days, all the games either ended in a tie or a shutout. I don’t know much about soccer. I heard an expert say after the United States and England tied 1-1, that a tie was better than a win. So now I know even less than I thought. Here’s how the World Cup will be decided: any team that can’t score is eliminated. The teams that can score enough to tie their opponents will be declared Champions. A 10-way tie for World Cup Champion would be about perfect.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"After a football (soccer) game in Lima, Peru, five were killed. They only kill ten in a revolution down there, so two games equals one revolution. Up here we don't kill our football players. We make coaches out of the smartest ones and send the others to the Legislature." DT #1389, Jan. 5, 1931
"For five straight years (Uruguay) has had the champion football soccer team in the world, and they play any country. The referee stays inside a big wire net where the spectators can't get at him. Down here the people vote on whether they will hold a football game or a revolution, both equal in casualties." DT #1939, Oct. 21, 1932
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Weekly Comments: Will won’t trade column for a federal job #605
May 30, 2010
COLUMBUS: Before I get started, I want to get one thing straight. The Obama administration has not promised me a job to get me to stop writing this column. Not even a position on an advisory commission. Now, if they had offered a job on a commission (which they didn’t) the weekly pay would be exactly the same as I get from these Comments. Although they never offered a job to get me to quit, there may be a few times they wanted to shoot me.
The oil keeps on flowing from that BP well, at around 15,000 barrels a day. Wouldn’t you like to receive the one-eighth royalties on a well like that? I know we’re not supposed to see anything but the negatives from this disaster, but consider how many square feet of solar panels it would take to equal the oil from a well like this in a year? Or wind machines?
Petroleum engineers say this oil gusher would be fairly easy to manage if it was on land or in shallow water. I believe them, but I’m not sure they ever had one spewing out this much oil. Everybody hopes, when drilling, they don’t hit a dry hole. But when you hit one with ten times or a hundred times the oil that was planned for, it can be a big a problem.
The government sure doesn’t know how to plug a well. (Stuffing it full of dollar bills won’t work.) But they could perhaps handle the clean up. The President should name a General or Admiral to head it, and bring in men and machines and boats, to collect the oil and keep it off the shores. Work with the Louisiana Governor, oil companies and others that have the materials and the knowhow to get it done. Don’t forget about the idea of using hay to soak up oil.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"(Presidential advisory) commissions are fine, but they turn in a lot of data about something that ain't so good. Now, Mr. Hoover (is a) conscientious, fine, hard-working man, and appointing a commission is not any crime. But it seems like a presidential commission don't get nothin' done. They don't really earn the breakfast that they give 'em at the White House the day they appoint 'em." Radio, April 30, 1933
"(President Warren G. Harding) spoke on Decoration Day at Arlington Cemetery... Mr. Harding said that, in case of another war that capital would be drafted the same as men. He put over a thought that, if carried out, would do more to stop Wars than all the International Courts and Leagues of Nations in the world. Of the three things to prevent wars, League of Nations, International Court, and this Drafting of Capital, this last one is so far ahead of the others there is no comparison. When that Wall Street Millionaire knows that... you come in to get his dough, say, boy, there wouldn't be any war." WA #29, July 1, 1923
"A sure certainty about our Memorial Days is as fast as the ranks from one war thin out, the ranks from another take their place. Prominent men run out of Decoration Day speeches, but the world never runs out of wars. People talk peace, but men give their life's work to war. It won't stop till there is as much brains and scientific study put to aid peace as there is to promote war." DT #888, May 31, 1929
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
COLUMBUS: Before I get started, I want to get one thing straight. The Obama administration has not promised me a job to get me to stop writing this column. Not even a position on an advisory commission. Now, if they had offered a job on a commission (which they didn’t) the weekly pay would be exactly the same as I get from these Comments. Although they never offered a job to get me to quit, there may be a few times they wanted to shoot me.
The oil keeps on flowing from that BP well, at around 15,000 barrels a day. Wouldn’t you like to receive the one-eighth royalties on a well like that? I know we’re not supposed to see anything but the negatives from this disaster, but consider how many square feet of solar panels it would take to equal the oil from a well like this in a year? Or wind machines?
Petroleum engineers say this oil gusher would be fairly easy to manage if it was on land or in shallow water. I believe them, but I’m not sure they ever had one spewing out this much oil. Everybody hopes, when drilling, they don’t hit a dry hole. But when you hit one with ten times or a hundred times the oil that was planned for, it can be a big a problem.
The government sure doesn’t know how to plug a well. (Stuffing it full of dollar bills won’t work.) But they could perhaps handle the clean up. The President should name a General or Admiral to head it, and bring in men and machines and boats, to collect the oil and keep it off the shores. Work with the Louisiana Governor, oil companies and others that have the materials and the knowhow to get it done. Don’t forget about the idea of using hay to soak up oil.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"(Presidential advisory) commissions are fine, but they turn in a lot of data about something that ain't so good. Now, Mr. Hoover (is a) conscientious, fine, hard-working man, and appointing a commission is not any crime. But it seems like a presidential commission don't get nothin' done. They don't really earn the breakfast that they give 'em at the White House the day they appoint 'em." Radio, April 30, 1933
"(President Warren G. Harding) spoke on Decoration Day at Arlington Cemetery... Mr. Harding said that, in case of another war that capital would be drafted the same as men. He put over a thought that, if carried out, would do more to stop Wars than all the International Courts and Leagues of Nations in the world. Of the three things to prevent wars, League of Nations, International Court, and this Drafting of Capital, this last one is so far ahead of the others there is no comparison. When that Wall Street Millionaire knows that... you come in to get his dough, say, boy, there wouldn't be any war." WA #29, July 1, 1923
"A sure certainty about our Memorial Days is as fast as the ranks from one war thin out, the ranks from another take their place. Prominent men run out of Decoration Day speeches, but the world never runs out of wars. People talk peace, but men give their life's work to war. It won't stop till there is as much brains and scientific study put to aid peace as there is to promote war." DT #888, May 31, 1929
Randall Reeder
Will Rogers Today http://willrogerstoday.com
614-477-0439 willrogers@aol.com
Need a Speaker? Hurry up and hire me before I die... again.
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